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OP, you're expecting emotions to be the same about two things that have the end result. In one instance not having more or any children is a choice. In the case of male infertility not having children is not a choice.
The same end result doesn't equate to the same emotions. I'm sure there are men out there that would be fine with being infertile just as some men may not be happy about a vasectomy.
There's no way to know for sure as I don't believe I've ever seen any kind of study related to this, but if I had to chose, then I would agree generally speaking it would be more devastating to a women than a man. But there are still many men who would have a very hard time dealing with not being able to have children when they want some.
Yeah, exactly. I was speaking to my opinion relative to the women I’ve dated as well as my friends; most have wanted kids (and several who did not). Everyone else in this thread is speaking to their opinion as well; obviously, nothing is going to apply to all men or all women when it comes to relationships/wanting kids or not (or how they handle birth control). Most men and women aren’t going to even know if they are infertile (yet alone be devastated by it), unless they’re specifically trying to have a baby; a good percentage of those may not even choose to pursue it. Hence the reason some of the statements being made are downright bizarre, from my perspective.
That said, my personal opinion could be heavily influenced by the age of the women I’ve dated; I’m a man in my forties and they tend to be younger i.e. 30+ and, at this point, their biological clock factors in (and the emphasis is on such) whereas having a baby is not a decision I have ever felt pressured to make. A woman my age simply doesn’t have the option. I also think more women are willing (or even want) to be single mothers, as a whole, than men want to take on single fatherhood by themselves. Again, I’m not (nonsensically) suggesting it’s universal - but more likely.
It's very clearly the bonding between the genders have deteriorated over the years. Less men want commitment and kids. More are opting for vasectomies and cohabitating with gf after gf.
However, my friend's brother just found out recently that he's permanently infertile. I don't know the name but it's when a man doesn't or can't produce any sperm. He was actually in tears when he got that news. She was trying to comfort him by listing the bright side of things such as no longer worrying about paying for child support, a gf babytrapping him, or younger women demanding for a kid, to treat it as a blessing. None of what she said helped at all. He doesn't want to speak with anyone at this moment.
If the number of men having vasectomies have skyrocketed over the recent years (this means more men wish they were infertile), why aren't naturally infertile men happy?
I think your brothers friend has already been posting here asking for advice about it.
Some poster mentioned this would be more devastating to us (if we were infertile even at a young age) than to men. I thought the same too but I can be wrong. Hopefully her brother recovers and gets help to overcome his issue. There is still the option for adopting when someone can't have their own kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr
How would you and your friend feel if you wanted kids but were told you could not have any?
Ok you got a point. I'll probably react the same way her brother reacted. Hopefully that's not the case.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr
Reading your posts, it sounds like you're a person who may not even want any, so you can't put yourself in her brothers shoes the feeling you would have being told you can never have a biological child which is devastating to hear if you did want kids.
I'm childfree for the meantime because I'm still in college. I do want kids a bit later on though.
I don't know who he is. It's not even the same condition. The other person seems to be having issues with his low count for a long time but probably has a chance. My friend's brother has no sperm count at all (no chance at all) and just found out about it recently. He's in the mourning stage. As a last resort, infertile people can adopt. That would still count as forming a family.
I don't know who he is. It's not even the same condition. The other person seems to be having issues with his low count for a long time but probably has a chance. My friend's brother has no sperm count at all (no chance at all) and just found out about it recently. He's in the mourning stage. As a last resort, infertile people can adopt. That would still count as forming a family.
Adopting a child is not the same as having a biological child.
There are also negatives to adopting, especially these days. The adopted child could do Ancestry DNA to find their biological family, also to see if they have blood siblings.
An adopted child can have emotional issues, they're most likely adopted into a family where no one looks like them. They also may not know their ethnicity.
One of my best friends growing up was adopted around age 5. She had a lot of emotional issues from being sexually abused when she was in foster care. She also felt like she was not good enough for her mother to keep to raise.
My older half brother was adopted out, my mother had changed her mind, decided to keep him but Catholic charities came knocking one day, told her she legally signed him away, hand him over. She had a lot of emotional issues due to it. She also had to deal with me looking like my brother.
Those are just a few of the negatives, there are more.
Yes there can be positives too, my brother was adopted into a great family, but not every adoptee gets that.
It's very clearly the bonding between the genders have deteriorated over the years. Less men want commitment and kids. More are opting for vasectomies and cohabitating with gf after gf.
However, my friend's brother just found out recently that he's permanently infertile. I don't know the name but it's when a man doesn't or can't produce any sperm. He was actually in tears when he got that news. She was trying to comfort him by listing the bright side of things such as no longer worrying about paying for child support, a gf babytrapping him, or younger women demanding for a kid, to treat it as a blessing. None of what she said helped at all. He doesn't want to speak with anyone at this moment.
If the number of men having vasectomies have skyrocketed over the recent years (this means more men wish they were infertile), why aren't naturally infertile men happy?
Why would anyone be happy about being genetically defective?
As a last resort, infertile people can adopt. That would still count as forming a family.
As a parent to two wonderful children who happen to be adopted, I cannot begin to tell you how offensive this is. Adoption is not some last resort, less than sort of thing. And to the other poster who listed the litany of potential negatives, biological children can have all sorts of issues, too.
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