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It's very clearly the bonding between the genders have deteriorated over the years. Less men want commitment and kids. More are opting for vasectomies and cohabitating with gf after gf.
However, my friend's brother just found out recently that he's permanently infertile. I don't know the name but it's when a man doesn't or can't produce any sperm. He was actually in tears when he got that news. She was trying to comfort him by listing the bright side of things such as no longer worrying about paying for child support, a gf babytrapping him, or younger women demanding for a kid, to treat it as a blessing. None of what she said helped at all. He doesn't want to speak with anyone at this moment.
If the number of men having vasectomies have skyrocketed over the recent years (this means more men wish they were infertile), why aren't naturally infertile men happy?
STERILE is the term
Just like a woman that cannot conceive
And you totally don’t understand the issue of choice in that discovery?
Those subsets don’t contain the same men
First of all, the only men likely to even know they are infertile are those who are trying to conceive and are having no success and so get tested. I.e. men who want kids. So yes, they would be disappointed by not achieving this goal.
Infertile men who don't want kids would never have a reason to get tested, never know about their infertility, and suffer no emotional trauma.
Just in case it's not obvious to OP that we are dealing with two vastly different demographics here.
It's very clearly the bonding between the genders have deteriorated over the years. Less men want commitment and kids. More are opting for vasectomies and cohabitating with gf after gf.
However, my friend's brother just found out recently that he's permanently infertile. I don't know the name but it's when a man doesn't or can't produce any sperm. He was actually in tears when he got that news. She was trying to comfort him by listing the bright side of things such as no longer worrying about paying for child support, a gf babytrapping him, or younger women demanding for a kid, to treat it as a blessing. None of what she said helped at all. He doesn't want to speak with anyone at this moment.
If the number of men having vasectomies have skyrocketed over the recent years (this means more men wish they were infertile), why aren't naturally infertile men happy?
why would they be? Any woman who would be told she can't have children would probably be very sad as well. To me this isn't a men vs women issue but a human issue. sure, the planet is overpopulated etc but I think most people would like at some point in their lives to have a heir. Sure, there are some men and women who dont want children by choice, but thats not the majority.
Infertile men who don't want kids would never have a reason to get tested, never know about their infertility, and suffer no emotional trauma.
If he doesn’t want kids, he should get a vasectomy or only have sex with women who are unable to have children, medically or by choice as well. Else, he may suffer the emotional trauma relative to an unexpected pregnancy instead, lol. Been there, done that (although I was excited/happy about it after the initial shock of learning she was pregnant). Still, it can throw you when you know birth control has been responsibly discussed/followed (and you aren’t expecting it); hence, if one knows they don’t want kids (and/or they know they won’t be involved or can’t provide support) - man up, so to speak, and stop playing Russian roulette/games with people’s lives. Personally, I’m still open to fathering another child (as our baby was tragically lost) - at least enough so as not to make a permanent decision as of yet.
It’s far more likely than what the OP and many in this thread are suggesting/discussing, if you’re speaking to logical fallacies.
If he doesn’t want kids, he should get a vasectomy or only have sex with women who are unable to have children, medically or by choice as well. Else, he may suffer the emotional trauma relative to an unexpected pregnancy instead, lol. Been there, done that (although I was excited/happy about it after the initial shock of learning she was pregnant). Still, it can throw you when you know birth control has been responsibly discussed/followed (and you aren’t expecting it); hence, if one knows they don’t want kids (and/or they know they won’t be involved or can’t provide support) - man up, so to speak, and stop playing Russian roulette/games with people’s lives. Personally, I’m still open to fathering another child (as our baby was tragically lost) - at least enough so as not to make a permanent decision as of yet.
It’s far more likely than what the OP and many in this thread are suggesting/discussing, if you’re speaking to logical fallacies.
But an INFERTILE man would not be producing babies. That's what Zentropa is saying. He would likely, not know he's infertile unless he WANTS babies, and gets tested as to why the little swimmers don't seem to be swimming.
This thread was hijacked multiple times. Numerous off-topic posts have been deleted. The thread is being moved to the Psychology forum. If it goes awry again, it will be permanently closed.
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Perhaps some of those infertile men actually want children. Not every man is against having them you know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hermit12
This thread should have ended right here.
Sydney123's response was the first in this discussion, and I agree. Though pretty much everyone who responded addressed the issue, which is the OP's unwillingness to see men as individuals. The overall response was refreshing.
But an INFERTILE man would not be producing babies. That's what Zentropa is saying. He would likely, not know he's infertile unless he WANTS babies, and gets tested as to why the little swimmers don't seem to be swimming.
Yeah, I was speaking to (and agreeing with) Zentropa’s comment re: logical fallacies, as the OP’s question isn’t logical on a number of levels. In fact, in a previous comment, I mentioned the same thing i.e. a man isn’t going to know unless he’s actively trying to have a baby (and has had no success with his partner); hence they’re an infertile couple. Even then, some may pursue it to determine who/what/why; others may let it go and move on.
That said, it’s great to see the thread moved to Psychology, as the issue of a man (or woman) who is that unhappy for any reason, yet alone because he is hyper-focused on having/not having kids, is clearly relative to one’s psychological health overall and their (lack of) coping skills/ability to adjust to what life throws their way (while effectively managing the parts of their life they do control).
Yeah, I was speaking to (and agreeing with) Zentropa’s comment re: logical fallacies, as the OP’s question isn’t logical on a number of levels. In fact, in a previous comment, I mentioned the same thing i.e. a man isn’t going to know unless he’s actively trying to have a baby (and has had no success with his partner); hence they’re an infertile couple. Even then, some may pursue it to determine who/what/why; others may let it go and move on.
That said, it’s great to see the thread moved to Psychology, as the issue of a man (or woman) who is that unhappy for any reason, yet alone because he is hyper-focused on having/not having kids, is clearly relative to one’s psychological health overall and their (lack of) coping skills/ability to adjust to what life throws their way (while effectively managing the parts of their life they do control).
I don't know where you fall on this question so I'm not using your comment as a contrast with mine, but more a springboard.
You mention healthy coping. I think part of what surprised the OP is not only that a man might feel strongly about his fertility, but that he would openly express those feelings. I think his response, as far as we know, is a healthy one. There's a point where he'll hopefully have processed this news and moved on to what if anything he may do in response, but processing it, including expr3esing it, would be the first step.
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