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You've gotten a lot of great feedback which I would reiterate in comments 13-15, and yes, everyone you see in media type environments have rehearsed / practiced key things they want to say, so do not judge yourself by them. Especially politicians and their media driven bullet point narrative 'speak'.
I was a training manager for a major corp for 5 years and in that environment you not only create a basic written talk track, but you also learn who your audience is, then build an inventory of common feedback questions so you can research and become more well spoken or at least direct someone to where they can go. Knowing what you don't know is also important whatever the setting.
As for deep conversations there are so many variables that may be influencing this.
Are they purposeful to an individual or small group?
Do you want to be having deep conversations and can't seem to, in your mind, attain them?
Or do you have conversations that seemingly are getting deep but you feel you cannot express your ideas about some topic?
If it's the latter you would want to research, read, write about the topic in question to at least achieve a level of comfort.
As someone mentioned earlier, things like public speaking improvement (Toastmaster's) can be very helpful in learning to:
Practice organizing your thoughts on a topic
Delivery of the topic to an audience
Gain a better understanding through audience feedback and receptivity.
Another vocabulary practice you may find helpful is to compile words that convey visual imagery or concepts well and think of analogous everyday things to use as examples to convey them. Try it as a self help exercise. This can help in "relate-ability" to various audiences not knowledgeable about a topic you may find of interest.
I was generally a quiet introvert in school / education settings who did OK in public speaking, but I did so as an alter ego as an actor would. It's much like learning to flip a switch. I dislike banal conversation but when a topic comes up in which I have an interest I can speak about it.
If it is general conversation with people you don't know, think of your life experiences and how you might convey something you experienced that you enjoyed, in as concise a way as possible. Come up with a handful of examples (vignette) you keep in your "memory back pocket" so if you find a lull in a conversation which you'd like to continue, you can segue by asking open ended question(s) to engage, if said audience - whatever the size- so chooses to continue.
Same. A cocktail of introversion and social anxiety makes speaking not so easy for me. Most people lose interest or interrupt me when I can't keep up in a conversation or simply have nothing to add. I'm okay with that, because I gain far more knowledge as a listener.
Also, watch out for the quiet ones. Just because we can't/don't talk much doesn't mean we're "slow".
I'm the same. I work in curriculum development in a major government contractor. I work with some extremely smart people who can speak quite eloquently, but have never been able to speak publicly "on that level", but my co-workers consider me the silent but deadly one.....lol. I can write pretty good and can decipher learning theories pretty well on paper (hence the reason why I am in the position at work now). Like you, I am a good listener.
I've found that deep thinkers tend to speak more slowly because they are trying to be precise in their speaking. Many others speak before thinking and the words just come out in a pile of word vomit. Many are so eager to get their words in they aren't really listening to what you're saying and often interrupt to tell you what they think you're about to say. Which is usually wrong. They're substituting their thoughts for yours and responded to their own inner dialog.
And some people, who seem to be accomplished speakers, are simply good bull------. I worked with a guy like that. You could put him on stage with a PowerPoint he'd never seen before, and he would speak to each slide that came up as if he were a world class expert on that topic -- and the audience would believe him. It was a gift he had.
Many are so eager to get their words in they aren't really listening to what you're saying and often interrupt to tell you what they think you're about to say. Which is usually wrong. They're substituting their thoughts for yours and responded to their own inner dialog.
I deal with this all the time, with others finishing my sentences for me and then commandeering the conversation, possibly because I'm not engaging enough, but also because they are so egotistical.
Mansplainers take this to a new level, where as soon as they sense that you do know what you're talking about, they take over and explain it all back to you. Sometimes I get blatantly sarcastic with my replies, like "Oh wow, I didn't know that!" while looking astonished, but they're so absorbed in their 'superior' knowledge that they never pick up on it.
Mansplainers, we are laughing at you inside, just so you know.
And some people, who seem to be accomplished speakers, are simply good bull------. I worked with a guy like that. You could put him on stage with a PowerPoint he'd never seen before, and he would speak to each slide that came up as if he were a world class expert on that topic -- and the audience would believe him. It was a gift he had.
A public speaker can only be as ‘accomplished’ as their knowledge of the subject whether they are in a teaching environment, leading an executive team meeting or speaking about a hobby.
And some people, who seem to be accomplished speakers, are simply good bull------. I worked with a guy like that. You could put him on stage with a PowerPoint he'd never seen before, and he would speak to each slide that came up as if he were a world class expert on that topic -- and the audience would believe him. It was a gift he had.
I also worked with someone like that. Only after the meeting you'd realize that he didn't actually say anything of substance.
I've had some struggles with this, and developed some tools to deal with it. I've got ADHD and have always been a prolific reader, but was a solitary and awkward child. I remember growing up, seeing peers be able to engage in conversation and come up with witty remarks right there on the spot, and get laughs and approval...I couldn't do it. I never thought of the right thing to say and whatever I said was always the wrong thing somehow.
I stopped trying so hard when I was in high school and things began to improve. But what has really helped is getting into various comedy content on TV...went through the Monty Python phase in my teens, you get quotes that are then inside jokes in your friend group, and boy can you get a lot of traction out of that. Over the years since, I've been a fan of lots of stand up comedy, but British comedy has always been top shelf for me. And as I go through life, I have my "inner stand up comedian" constantly putting together little anecdotes out of all sorts of day to day experiences. So in conversation, I can trot out a quick little story and get a laugh.
And, too, I've been on this forum for over a decade and I really think that I've used it to hash out and field test a lot of my ideas, solidify my own opinions and stances, expose them to criticism, and seek the right words. My brain is easier with writing than speaking, out of several paragraphs on a subject I mentally refine and retain a sentence or phrase and then I've got it handy to use in conversations.
I also worked with someone like that. Only after the meeting you'd realize that he didn't actually say anything of substance.
LOL. That's 97% of people I encounter. Sometimes after their mouth has been running for a solid five minutes, I sum it up with one sentence and do my best to terminate the conversation. Less is more.
Presidents and CEO's speaking on important issues have teleprompters. But even teleprompters can't help some people who have reading dyslexia, or don't know how to pronounce the actual words.
Public speaking was something I did at high school speech debates over 50 years ago, it came in different versions: extemporaneous (talking from the hip with little time to prepare), oratory (giving your pre-written speech), debate (speaking on an assigned topic and then responding to the other side). That taught me a lot about speaking in public, doing it many times and becoming more experienced was a big help. I won awards, it was fun.
Now I'm almost 70 and when I talk to my husband about important subjects that have details I do have to pause to let my mind remember the exact word needed. Luckily my husband can assist sometimes lol.
Have you listened to President Obama speak? He takes his time to be precise, people make fun of his long pauses. He is an expert in Constitutional law and that is an area of both precision and careful wording.
Be wary of people who talk so fast you are confused about what they actually said. There's a reason they do this.
When the videotape plays back you can hear them talk out of both sides of their mouth, agreeing and disagreeing with themselves. That's so they can be quoted by different news corps and be saying different things.
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