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About to turn 67 here and have been flagging in this area noticeably. Like several others here, I was always better at writing than speaking, but I wasn't phobic or otherwise impaired either. Now actually even my writing has required more proofreading than I'm used to. I think the raw processing speed of the brain does slow down some, all things being equal.
I also notice that where I have to use my brain the most -- my vocation of software development -- things are much harder outside of, for lack of a better term, I'll call "mental muscle memory". The things I'm most experienced at and like the most I'm still just as good at. When it comes to things I'm less experienced or inexperienced at, or that I don't much like ... that's getting to be a bit of a struggle.
I often have an easier time speaking to a large audience of total strangers than I do conversing with much smaller groups of people I know. For one thing, chances are I'm speaking about something I know well...why would I be put in that position otherwise? Chances are I've rehearsed the speech ahead of time too, so it's a performance, not a conversation. Maybe part of it's because I don't have that much invested in those strangers I'll probably never need to deal with one-on-one. If I flub something, I flub something, then it's over. With the smaller known group there's more at stake personally, so what I say or say poorly will have repercussions.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 3 days ago)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SnazzyB
With my parents and siblings, I'm often 'talked over'. I'll be in the middle of a sentence, and I get interrupted. I'll try to finish my sentence and I get talked over again. I'm not sure what the deal is. Do I talk to soft? Too slow? I don't know.
I always say that's why I like forums. In forums, I can finish a whole thought, let alone a whole sentence. LOL
Well, your reputation score here verifies that what you have to say is worth listening to.
Well, your reputation score here verifies that what you have to say is worth listening to.
That probably applies to a lot of the long term posters here (and all over the internet), who have social credentials because they are in an atmosphere where they can effectively communicate without feeling stressed or rushed.
No such options in real life, where you have to put on a certain verbal performance, sometimes on the spot, or else get downcast due to lack of interest.
I'm old enough that when I entered the workforce, faxes were still a thing. I went out of my way to fax things to other people, when a phone call would have sufficed. It was easier for me to communicate that way.
That probably applies to a lot of the long term posters here (and all over the internet), who have social credentials because they are in an atmosphere where they can effectively communicate without feeling stressed or rushed.
No such options in real life, where you have to put on a certain verbal performance, sometimes on the spot, or else get downcast due to lack of interest.
I'm old enough that when I entered the workforce, faxes were still a thing. I went out of my way to fax things to other people, when a phone call would have sufficed. It was easier for me to communicate that way.
My work just decided that they were going to start tracking phone calls and face to face meetings with coworkers and clients as a metric for "team success"...which is new, and is not always required for a lot of us to do our jobs. And for my whole career, I've preferred email, one reason being that there's a record of what was said by whom, that you can refer back to later.
I'm also far less likely to slip and say something that doesn't quite work...not something super inappropriate mind, but something less formal than the way I should be speaking in the setting.
I recall an instance when my brain froze on the right way to express my sentiment and I was on a client call and telling them about getting them a big win on a contract dispute with a sweet discount involved, and I meant to finish the sentence with something just saying how it was a pretty good outcome...but I had a moment and said, "...and that does not suck!" Which is fine for some clients and coworkers out west mainly, but the east coast folks are a little more professional/formal and I really shouldn't have said that. I still feel embarrassed about it. I definitely would have edited that and found better verbiage if it'd been conveyed in an email.
Seriously what am I in Wayne's World or something? Lord.
So yeah I do not wanna have to do more communications via phone and face to face. I'm not happy about this at all.
I definitely feel like the average person is much better at articulating their thoughts than I am. I'm terrible at even small talk and it always amazes me how people can think of exactly what to say so quickly.
I consider myself a pretty bright individual, but 99% of what's in my head gets lost trying to find its way out.
I am also someone who has a hard time talking to someone, but can write well after several revisions. I like to read short stories, and have always had a hard time reading and understanding some school books. I could do well in math, and english, but things like biology, science and history I had a hard time with. I know I had to read and reread things until I could understand and about the only way I would do well on a test is if I was able to memorize things. I pick jobs that I can work alone in and am able to do a routine. I have high anxiety and sometimes prefer to have music or the tv on because I can drown out the voices in my head then.
My DH is almost a complete opposite. He likes to talk and is a problem solver when it comes to manual things. He is very good to have around the house because he can fix just about anything. He sometimes finishes my sentences because I talk to slow for him and he is quick in answering things. He is very good at 3 dimensual puzzles. One thing I have learned about him is do not ask for his help unless you can deal with him taking over and doing it his way as that is the only way.
Like anything, some people have the gift of gab, others don’t. If you’re in the middle, then practice helps you overcome some of your anxiety.
I had terrible stage fright as a young person but with education, training, and experience I can speak on a number of subjects without much effort. If it’s in an official capacity where I need to focus on a number of points, I prefer writing what I need to say and then reading it.
Broadcast journalists are taught how to do their job. It’s not completely natural.
I write much better than I speak. I suppose those here familiar with my writing might not agree.
I think that might be true for many.
Many call the annoited one, prez Obama, the great orarator, but if you pay attention he had a lot of "ah" and "ums" in his speaking patterns.
Oration and speeches are as much outside of conversational speech as rockets are to airplanes. I have no idea who or what "anointed" Obama, but he gave a couple of speeches that had brilliant classical rhetoric. I'm not normally impressed with political speek, but linguistically those were exceptional. Now, that has absolutely ZERO to do with politics. Reagan held his own, speech-wise.
What I discovered on a trip to the David Crockett park in Lawrenceburg that tickled my funny bone was that he actually stole the speech of his opponent in one debate and gave it as his own, and won the debate. He also made it big in politics because he had connections and money from making whisky.
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