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I think the reason people who've done their homework move here and then don't like it are disappointed is because it isn't what they had imagined. It doesn't quite match the particular vision that they had. Perhaps they built it up in their heads after months or years of dreaming to be something it isn't. Or maybe in theory -40F windchill didn't sound so bad, but in practice it's quite another thing. Some people get homesick because even if they didn't like where they came from, it was still home. But alas no place is perfect, and if you expect as much then you'll be disappointed no matter where you go.
I think I came with more realistic expectations than many. I knew that there wasn't going to be a huge choice when it came to shopping, that there wasn't going to be a 24-hour party going on downtown all the time and that I would frequently need to entertain myself. It was more than a fair tradeoff to leave behind traffic so bad that you could wait through 18 changes of the light to get through an intersection (I made a game of keeping count), to be able to walk by myself without worrying about someone bopping me over the head, to meet people who actually know how to say, "Hello," "Please," and "Thank you" and to have natural beauty and a reasonable cost of living. It was still a bit of a shock to see just how desolate some areas are, and just how cold -40F windchill really is, but I got over it.
That's a long-winded way of saying that for some people, the dream is better than the reality. You either learn to love the reality or move on to something else that's more like what you had in mind.
That's a long-winded way of saying that for some people, the dream is better than the reality. You either learn to love the reality or move on to something else that's more like what you had in mind.
well lets see, i have never lived in dakota but i have lived in chicago, and know winter.
ever been in San diego? i think CA is appealing. no winter. our people here are pretty crazy so that could be a factor in wanting to live in dakota. just guessing.
I think kbat had a great point, people tend to have romantic notions about all kinds of things, places, people, etc. We had this cute little Italian restaurant here, and I always thought it would be so pleasant to have a nice glass of wine & sit outdoors, enjoy the evening and have a lite little meal, you know, very European (in my mind). But the reality of it was, the food was not that good, the service was, not to be critical, but it was terrible! And all you got for your outdoor atmosphere was the fumes of cars going by, no privacy, you get the picture!
Anyway, all that simply to say (philosophically) that we humans tend to build things up in our minds & then we get disappointed when reality comes -whether that reality is -40 degree weather (not including the wind chill, I assume!) or not having the shopping choices, or the entertainment, or the whatever!
I think as a culture we have fed that kind of thinking way too much! I see all these people who divorce for such pathetic "reasons" when the bottom line is, something didn't go their way & it was less than perfect, or less than the perfect they had set up in their imagination. Instead of choosing to embrace the reality & put in the effort to make it work FOR them, they bail out. That is not to say, there are sometimes you have to make that choice and get out, it happens. But, I think we have learned to be so dis-satisfied with so much of life that we miss the point.
And the point is your geography is not the end all & be all to your happiness. If you were unhappy in (insert your state here) and now you are unhappy in (insert new state here) ~ maybe your problem is more internal than geographical....I'm just saying?
I want to leave my current state, and take with me my happy stuff! I want to come to SD & bring with me all the good things I found here, not just get away from "bad" stuff.
OK, so I tend to ramble in the mornings...sorry!
Have a great day...wherever you are!
And, yes....crazy probably doesn't hurt!
We are both just past 50 & are planning this move as carefully & thoughtfully as possible, but it still FEELS crazy to me! Not to mention, I think our family & friends are questioning our sanity about now, too!
I must admit, starting over at this age is a bit scary! But it feels so right & we are very excited to take our fact finding trip (Lord willing!) SOON!
And, yes....crazy probably doesn't hurt!
We are both just past 50 & are planning this move as carefully & thoughtfully as possible, but it still FEELS crazy to me! Not to mention, I think our family & friends are questioning our sanity about now, too!
I must admit, starting over at this age is a bit scary! But it feels so right & we are very excited to take our fact finding trip (Lord willing!) SOON!
Good luck to you both and Iam sure will do fine out here.
I'm glad to see the positive responses. I can completely understand the want to get to where there are fewer people and less of the hassles that go along with city living.
I guess what I don't get is why people research the area, move here, and then complain because it's not what they had. I don't get it. If you WANT less crime, traffic, pollution, noise, etc. then why complain when you get it? If what you want are the "perks" of city living, without the city ~ good luck with that!
The honest truth is that most of us don't make $17-20 an hour, we don't drive a Mercedes (there are certain areas where people would laugh at us if we did!), our homes don't cost $500 a square foot, but that's okay. We have blue skies, golden prairies, black hills, an amazing native and wildlife culture. Did you notice the lack of deer crossing signs when you moved here? I did! Why put them up? The whole state is a deer crossing!
I guess I just wish people wouldn't come here looking for the promised land, and then complain when they don't get their version. This is the promised land, at least for some people. For those that can adapt and embrace South Dakota for exactly what it is - poor in most economic resources, but rich in so many others - I am happy to find kindred souls. For those that can't live without their fast paced, high volume, sensory overload on a daily basis - please take a closer look at the decision you are making and why! We would love to show you the amazing things in our state, if you really want to make it your home, but educate yourself first, and be willing to compromise! Be well-educated, and you will be less likely to be disappointed!
I will attempt to answer your 2nd paragraph as to --"why"-- people re-locate and then complain.
They do their research based on everything they hated about the place they are at. That is fine, but they fail to take into account the things they liked about where they are living. ( even if that list is short)
Thus they presume that since the place they are moving to solved all their first list, things will be fine.
It comes down to inadequate research !
Solving the problems on the first list is the first step.
Checking to see if the new area has the few things on the 2nd list is also important. If it does not, making an honest evaluation if one can give up that short list is necessary.
Unfortunately, many don't consider the 2nd list til after they move.
No re-location place will be perfect. It is a matter of finding a place that matches most of your criteria and to quit complaining about the few things you no longer have.
The old question----" is the glass half full or half empty"--comes to mind.
Many people re-locate and now have a glass 90% full, but spend too much time complaining about the 10% empty.
to the op. for us standing outside, i would say that SD is probably one of the most historical states over there.so maybe its therefore ?
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