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She gave him a shower. She obviously could not have gotten on her hands and knees and scrubbed the carpet clean. So if Hubby wasnt home at time of incident and it sat from say 3:30p until he got home it would make the situation that much worse. The stain would be worse and lets not talk about the smell.
You have no idea if she could or couldn't clean the carpet. He may have cleaned it to help out. You know, working as a team since they were both home. And who cares if a stain is harder to get out. It's a stain. The father is a human being. The two things are not remotely comparable. I suspect she'd do fine cleaning the carpet because I was actually pretty surprised that she was the one who bathed him. It takes serious strength to bath a fragile elderly person. When I read his first post, I did think "wow, she's weak with health issues yet he left her to be the one to clean him up."
You have no idea if she could or couldn't clean the carpet. He may have cleaned it to help out. You know, working as a team since they were both home. And who cares if a stain is harder to get out. It's a stain. The father is a human being. The two things are not remotely comparable. I suspect she'd do fine cleaning the carpet because I was actually pretty surprised that she was the one who bathed him. It takes serious strength to bath a fragile elderly person. When I read his first post, I did think "wow, she's weak with health issues yet he left her to be the one to clean him up."
I can see we're all forming the same lines we did in a similar thread.
You know, my old dog is having occassional bowel accidents lately.
Someone actually posted that I should put him to sleep or take him to the humane society.
I won't get rid of my dog for a bowel accident. I most certainly wouldn't get rid of a person for a bowel accident.
No one is saying to put the man to sleep. And no we dont know all the details in this situation. But from what I do know a nice senior living facility sounds a lot better than a small mobile home.
This gentleman should certainly qualify for home health aid, it would help relieve your wife w/ her physical limitations. You live in a very small place for this type situation, perhaps having senior services will help address medical and care-giving needs. You do need to look at depends, because exposure to human feces i.e. your carpet is hazardous to all of you. Perhaps his dr. should know, it may be a side effect of medications. Does he have a walker? You said he shuffles, falls are a major concern in elderly folks having compromised physical abilities. Hope all gets resolved, it is hard for all of you.
No one is saying to put the man to sleep. And no we dont know all the details in this situation. But from what I do know a nice senior living facility sounds a lot better than a small mobile home.
My grandfather and grandmother both lived with us when I was in high school and college. We were very fortunate that we had many hands to make light work of the insulin shots, accident clean up, food prep... I feel for the OP.
One factor that many people don't consider when considering the question is how the decision impacts the sense of dignity in the family member under care.
Both of my grandparents were terrified of being put in a home in which their position would be that of some piece of furniture to be polished by the help. It felt like an affront to their dignity FAR more to be considered throw away than was the fact that their body sometimes failed them in the area of cleanliness. It was an affront to their dignity far more that their feelings might be considered less important than our convenience.
Just a thought.
SailorDave, tough choice. Whatever choice you make, I hope you can find a solution that works for all three of you.
Yes, my reply was intended to be a second voice in support of your advice.
Thank you.
I'm sincerely hoping the OP gives us a little more info. It would make giving suggestions easier. If his wife is determined that she wants to keep her dad at home there are a lot of products that help make the job easier. (Which I learned from experience.) Incluing small chairs and grab bars for the shower.
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