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It's not really about verbal abuse, it's about self respect.
OP, you are worth more than scraping the bottom of the barrel. At 63 you need to know that you are able to choose not to be involved with a rude drunk who calls you names. And when you found out he was a sex offender, why did you keep going?
Many of us have looked away from red flags when we were young and made stupid mistakes. Glad you posted, please walk away from this one.
Parnassia, when someone is already a sex offender the last thing they should be doing is peeing in public. In my state doing so can get someone convicted of a sex crime and they end up as a sex offender which essentially ruins their lives. This sometimes happens to young clueless drunk men. That’s why people are so concerned.
Both break ups were after he was drunk and something I said would trigger him. He would rage and belittle me and call me names like c*** and b***h.
Quote:
Originally Posted by taz60
Currently we are camping in a place with lots of open space. There are other people camping, but not too near by.When SO needs to pee, he usually goes in an area behind our campsite with lots of bushes and privacy. Last night I woke up at 3 am and he wasn't around.
Quote:
Originally Posted by taz60
Let me add that he is a felon -a sex offender for molesting a minor. (He said he was framed).
Quote:
Originally Posted by taz60
I said out in the open? That is pervert behavior. He started yelling F*** you, b**** and mocking me for being worried. He probably yelled it at least 10 times. I began gathering my things to leave and he kept baiting me. Saying things like 'watch out for perverts.'
Is his anger justified? It was so instant and intense. Alcohol may have helped the anger. My problem is i am suspicious by nature and I know that gets to him. Usually I am not so blunt, but to me the behavior was so weird. What are your thoughts? Thank you.
Whether your suspicion (or his anger) is justified or not, what’s at question is how you speak to each other as that is not. Clearly neither respects the other, not to mention the role alcohol is apparently playing as well. Do you like yourself? Why are you with a sex offender (or someone who verbally abuses you, for that matter).
That said, why call him a pervert in the middle of the night at a campground when he is drunk (and he has verbally abused you in the past)? It certainly appears as though you were trying to egg him on (or were you drunk as well). Obviously, a constructive conversation was not your intent, especially if you had a legitimate reason to believe he was doing something inappropriate or illegal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by clevergirl67
I should ask if your behavior is normal. Because most anyone would know not to date someone who is a molester (framed - yeah right), not to mention go back to them after they've proven they were abusive.
Exactly! I question the OP’s mental health, per the forum, as well.
Last edited by CorporateCowboy; 04-26-2024 at 09:59 AM..
Reason: added last quote/agreement
I feel sad for you that you aren't sure if you've been abused or not. I recognize the confusion, especially if you have trust issues.
Mean, abusive people who swear at you and call you names are not good for your mental health. No matter how lonely you might be, I hope you choose yourself and let this loser go.
He might have been doing more than "scratching" in public. You can't trust him and you shouldn't trust him - especially if he's a registered sex offender!
Parnassia, when someone is already a sex offender the last thing they should be doing is peeing in public. In my state doing so can get someone convicted of a sex crime and they end up as a sex offender which essentially ruins their lives. This sometimes happens to young clueless drunk men. That’s why people are so concerned.
I'm more concerned for the people @ the campsite with children who have no idea there's an alcoholic pedophile in their midst whipping it out in public..
It's not really about verbal abuse, it's about self respect.
OP, you are worth more than scraping the bottom of the barrel. At 63 you need to know that you are able to choose not to be involved with a rude drunk who calls you names. And when you found out he was a sex offender, why did you keep going?
Many of us have looked away from red flags when we were young and made stupid mistakes. Glad you posted, please walk away from this one.
This is true. It's important to note that the individual I described upthread was sober. A lifelong substance abuser (starting from age 5 with alcohol, with vodka being the drink of choice, along with drugs in the past which was not disclosed to me but rather advised to me by family members). Add to that "alcohol brain" whether drunk or sober and you have a recipe for extreme unhappiness and futility. Not to mention inconvenience, public humiliation and trouble with the law. I had never had one single bit of trouble with the law but boy, were they present in this situation. The local LE knew this individual very well. Of course that was all hidden from me.
Being with an abuser no matter the reason for their abuse, is not acceptable in any way, shape or form. It can and often does seriously hamper and destroy one's life. It's also why I finally signed up for truthfinder because I don't deal with romantic relationships or living situations unless I check the background. It's necessary these days.
Last edited by pathrunner; 04-26-2024 at 10:16 AM..
Thank you again to every one of you for taking the time to read and post your thoughts. It has been helpful and eye opening.
Kara G your post made me cry. Thank you.
Corporate cowboy. Thank you for drilling down to a big issue. Respect. I should not have said pervert. I was mad that he was defensive when I questioned why he went so far. There is a lack of respect on both sides.
D217 you raise a good point. There are no kids in this area that I know of. Local law enforcement knows of his presence here.
Teacher Terry. You are right. In fact last year he said he could be arrested if someone saw him and complained about peeing in public. During the day he is careful if he goes outside. At night he doesn't think there is a problem, although I do.
Adding to my previous post-
Ben shunamit. Thank you. Your last line "don't sell yourself short" will stay with me.
Considerforamoment. Thank for your compassion and your words, which I will take to heart.
To anyone reading this who has a problem but has not posted. DO IT. Please reach out. KaraG wrote that she was glad I posted. So am I. You will feel less alone and maybe the answers will cut through confusion,as it did for me.
Pathrunner
Aw, thank you so much for your post
Also thank you for your earlier post this morning. A background check is a good idea. And you are right about quality of life being destroyed. Two days alone and I feel physically better as well as emotionally better - in large part to all of you who responded.
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