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i can honestly say when the kids were growing up, i felt that every age, whatever age they happened to be, was the "best yet" in terms of enjoyment. the twinges of poignancy and yes some sadness i have felt, have been with the realization that they go off and do their own thing and are busy and absorbed in their own life and activities and i have sort of fallen off the radar.
i mean that is what we want for them, truly it is, that is one of the goals we have in raising them, we want them to grow up and be happy and capable and able to navigate life and have a life filled with wonder and joy and interesting things that are fulfilling and satisfying to them. i just never realized that when they sailed out into the world, that they would sail away from me.
i remember once a friend told me something when the boys were little, maybe 7 or 8 years old. Her kids were older already. She said there will come a time around maybe age 13 or 14 when you will hardly ever even see them anymore, because they will be busy and off doing their own thing. it turned out to be true. in a good way in terms of their activities, their hobbies, their friends, their classes. but also in a sad way too, because , well, i hardly ever saw them anymore.
I think this will vary widely with each parent. Some will be happy with the kids they have and experience joy no matter what. Others will be at the opposite extreme and act like task masters with their kids.
Kids will have a mind of their own early. Educators hold that kids know half of what they will know in their life by age 4. As much as three quarters of it between ages 7 to 8. (K thru 3)
I think it would be an interesting thread to inquire of how young adults here felt about their parent(s) growing up in the first 20 years. If they felt closer to other family members such as grandparents, uncles or aunts an so forth. (and turned to any of them before either of the parent(s)
Kids have no say as to who they're born to and often form closer bonds with those who didn't bear them. And sometimes they choose people who aren't even family to them.
I have young ones, baby + toddler. If I'm having a bad day, just spending some time with them really helps. They are so happy, so carefree, so stress less. They just enjoy life and just want to be with you. Play play play
Does this feeling ever stop? I would guess by the time kids are teenagers this immediate uplift of joy they provide is gone? lol...
I think it just changes like everything else. They become less and less happy, carefree and stress less and instead of wanting to be with you they avoid you yet you still are uplifted when you see them, just not so much.
The real change starts about tween years and lasts until adulthood and then gradually swings back. Then soon you may experience grands which is even way better than the original.
I agree. My kids are now in their mid 30s and are a delight.
Agree with this. We all mature as we go further down the road. Tolerance, love, and forgiveness are key to forming this relationship with your children, just as our parents have with us.
The care and nurturing they get as young children plays a big part in how well they handle life as adults. We want them to grow up into responsible, well-adjusted people. Unfortunately, that does mean independence from us nurturing parents, eventually. They don't turn their backs on us as teenagers, they just develop their own thoughts and ideas about things which may result in conflict.
You have to remember that as much as you love them, you aren't there to be a friend. You're a parent. No, you may not stay out until after midnight. No, you may not go to the party until you've done your homework. No, you may not wear that short, tight skirt to school.
We have to make judgement calls and it gets a little trickier as they get older. It doesn't diminish the joy you feel at the sight of them. I spent a lot of time driving my kids around in their early teen years and we talked A LOT. Know their interests and try to respect them. (Not always easy).
Relax and enjoy all the years with your kids. If they go off to college at age 18 with a wave, hug and a smile then you've done your job. Go to Disneyland.
This thread is so sad. I feel guilty now for wanting my kids to go to bed so I can have alone time. Sounds like once they become teens I'll have more alone time than I could have imagined
Homeschooling does not require having no social contacts.
No, but you're not getting the same amount of social contact as you would in school and you're not dealing with the same issues on a regular basis. Life sucks sometimes and the sooner you can learn that and how to deal with it the better.
I have young ones, baby + toddler. If I'm having a bad day, just spending some time with them really helps. They are so happy, so carefree, so stress less. They just enjoy life and just want to be with you. Play play play
Does this feeling ever stop? I would guess by the time kids are teenagers this immediate uplift of joy they provide is gone? lol...
About 11 or 12 years old I imagine.
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