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While I agree wholeheartedly with the point of this thread, it isn't going to change anything. No one is going to read it and change their behaviors because most people who do this have zero idea this is directed at them.
well, I'm hoping maybe some young parents to be, might read this and seek out further information on the subject, I know I did....
When I was pregnant with my son, I read several books on child behaviors, and one of them suggested to start early with "no" and not let them have their way and it gave example....it said, that your child's behavioral patterns start early on. Kids are extremely intelligent, I'm seeing vids of some mom's actually pottie training their 6 month olds and younger...some pretty amazing stuff....they hold them on these little potties when they have to go...one mom explained how she did it. She said, it save a lot of money on diapers. LOL
But babies are much smarter than I knew...they are amazing, they sit back and watch and their like little sponges absorbing every thing their parents do and say.
So yeah, hoping that this helps in some ways, while pregnant, read, and learn, before the baby comes. Then starts the training.
My son made his bed every morning....before coming down stairs. It didn't have to be perfect, but resemble some semblance of a made bed. LOL
I taught him to cook, and to this day he loves to cook and is great at it. Taught him to clean, shop for groceries, do the laundry, to sweep, to garden, pull weeds. He wanted a dog, he took part in caring for them feeding them, walking them, cleaning up after them....we all worked together...
It would probably be easier if some people just didn't have kids...rather than say all parents should be teachers. Yes they should do these things but sadly many dont and do a whole lot worse.
The problem is that every John, Sarah, Larry, and Kate thinks they can have a family solely because they have the ability to, but by the time they have kids, and everyone involved realizes they shouldn’t have become parents, there’s no going back.
Also, consider that many of the children of unfit parents exist only due to unintentional pregnancy (they will still act like it was planned out on social media though).
Spot on! But also teach your daughters to be independent. The amount of women who need a man to take care of them is ridiculous.
This is on topic and important, however I’ve not run across this situation quite that often. To me, the issue isn’t of our daughters “needing” a man, it’s more of an issue of the fact that you need a man, or his biological substance in some way, shape, or form, in order to procreate, which is why most young women who want a family will just say “screw it”, and settle for the first man that doesn’t make them vomit instantly. They’d rather just cut their losses.
The problem with the way they initially viewed that situation, both men and women, is the falsehood that if you keep looking, there’s this “perfect human” with no flaws out there, when in reality, even if the man and woman get along perfectly streamlined, relationships are still hard work.
The problem is that every John, Sarah, Larry, and Kate thinks they can have a family solely because they have the ability to, but by the time they have kids, and everyone involved realizes they shouldn’t have become parents, there’s no going back.
Also, consider that many of the children of unfit parents exist only due to unintentional pregnancy (they will still act like it was planned out on social media though).
thats very true, I wonder what our society could do, to do better?
StarryKnight1 This is on topic and important, however I’ve not run across this situation quite that often. To me, the issue isn’t of our daughters “needing” a man, it’s more of an issue of the fact that you need a man, or his biological substance in some way, shape, or form, in order to procreate, which is why most young women who want a family will just say “screw it”, and settle for the first man that doesn’t make them vomit instantly. They’d rather just cut their losses.
I agree, to teach them the importance of being selective, to know that it is a constant work in progress, and not a fairy tale.
Quote:
The problem with the way they initially viewed that situation, both men and women, is the falsehood that if you keep looking, there’s this “perfect human” with no flaws out there, when in reality, even if the man and woman get along perfectly streamlined, relationships are still hard work.
well there isn't, and yes, it should certainly be taught, no one is perfect, never happen....I think the key word is compatibility both mentally and spritually...
don't you think if parents taught their daughters to be independent, they'd be more selective?
Also, my son feels very strongly, and I've got to agree, fatherless daughters are more apt to seek out the love of a man, I did....I remember wanting to love and be loved so badly....and I didn't understand, until I was in my early 50's you don't have to be a couple to be successful and happy. I made a lot of mistakes simply because I didn't know any better at the time...way too immature and surely didn't have much experience....so I wasn't selective.
Kids seriously need both parents in their lives.
my son was ever present in my grand daughters life, they were and are very close...and they had many talks...as I did with him, and she didn't ever have a boy friend until last year and she's going to be 21 in August....so there is the difference, and I believe having a stable father in a daughters life also helps her be a lot more selective.
Last edited by cremebrulee; 06-03-2023 at 03:33 PM..
We-ll, I would say to teach their children to read past the sound bits and find out what is really being said.
I read the title and my first thought was of college regiment systems where the upperclassmen pass on their anger of women/minorities in the corps and that hate continues in those units for decades. Of remembering my Father's anger about things and how those moved into my life in the wrong way. Is that the kind of teaching that is being suggested here, that is not being realized that such a message is being communicated?
Of course not, once post #1 is read......but it seems we do have many who do only read the one line summary and act from that.
...but it seems we do have many who do only read the one line summary and act from that.
And not just on forum sites like this. We live in a 'headline' society. MSM has become very, very good at writing inflammatory or misleading headlines because they know that's what people look at... and many stop there, their mind made up. Further, many people are unable to read 'critically' and see through the BS if they do bother to read the article. Sadly, neither the liberal or conservative media can claim superiority on this. Both sides do it, and equally well.
I suppose what I'm trying to relate is that parents need to teach their kids, that in a household, everyone needs to chip in and help, it's not one person's job to do housework, wash dishes, do laundry, make the beds, grocery shop, mow lawns etc....I believe the more life experience and independent they are, the less they feel the need for a man, therefore making them more selective.
Parents are doing their children a favor by allowing them and teaching them to be versitile in chores around the house...teaching them how to enter the work force at an early age....
I worked since I was 13 years old, and all the kids in our school did, and we had so much fun, but we worked, and no we didn't look forward to it, but we worked, it was simply part of our belief system, we did it just because. We also made more friends that way, we learned team building by working, learned skills that might come in handly later in life, or not, but we also learned how to manage our money, how to not spend money we didn't have, we didn't charge things...
Not everything about the past or 50 years ago was correct, of course, but kids were surely different then, oh yeah, we had some bad ones, but not like today....kids whispered in the doctors office, we learned not to throw trash around or out the window...I believe we were more mature then, why? Because we were given responsibilities to complete. My son agrees, being a police officer, he gets to see it all and he cannot wait to retire. He said that kids today, do not know how to problem solve without asking mom how to do things. Hence the importance of teaching them chores, putting them out there to work in the world....if only a few hours a week...
I suppose what I'm trying to relate is that parents need to teach their kids, that in a household, everyone needs to chip in and help, it's not one person's job to do housework, wash dishes, do laundry, make the beds, grocery shop, mow lawns etc....I believe the more life experience and independent they are, the less they feel the need for a man, therefore making them more selective.
Parents are doing their children a favor by allowing them and teaching them to be versitile in chores around the house...teaching them how to enter the work force at an early age....
I agree with your basic premise about getting kids involved in chores, but there is an odd emphasis/paradox happening in these posts with the girls. Most of the chores you listed above have historically fallen to women/girls, other than maybe mowing lawns. More on that below. I realize I'm assuming heterosexuality on the "need a man" comments, but it seems like boys are just as much at risk of "needing a woman" if they don't know how to cook and clean. That's why we have slurs like "nurse with a purse" when we talk about elderly single men looking for a companion or spouse.
Mowing the lawn... my maternal grandma, MIL, and aunt-in-law are or were still mowing their own lawns in their 70's and now at 80. And our neighborhood Facebook group page is littered with posts from parents whose adolescent sons are looking for lawns to mow for $$$.
My BIL, in his 50's, has always lived at home (never moved out). MIL still does all the laundry. Not sure how that's going to go when she passes away.
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