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This thread is going to cover a whole lot of subjects regarding kids....work ethics, helping around the house, marriage, school, etc....
I don't know you, or your children, so this is not directed at anyone...it's simply a discussion, if you want to join in please do....simply food for thought
1 Situation
We had our family dinner last evening, my grand daughter is going to school while working as a manager at a local food and ice cream restaurant while going to school, she is 20 years old.
She is so tired of the kids who show up for a pay check but do not work, they refuse to do side work, she had to tell the one kid to go back in and clean the bathrooms....she said a woman came in at 11:30 a.m. and told her that none of the toilet stalls had toilet paper in them, which meant, the kids the night before, didn't do their job and fill them up. She said this is so unfair to the kids that do work and do a great job...and she feels she shouldn't have to continually watch over them like a mother.
She said, at the end of the night, some of these kids blatenly do not do their side work which makes it harder on her and the other kids who do....
It seems that restaurants all over have the same problem, while they have some kids that are great workers, there are others who refuse to do their job, or refuse to even get out there and work.
2. Stituation
So many wives, not all but a lot of wives complain that their husbands think and believe, if they go to work all day, they should be able to come home and do nothing but sit and allow their wives, who are working, to take care of the kids, shop, do laundry, make dinner, take out the trash, clean, etc....
My suggestion here is this, when you kids are growning up start off by having them make their own beds, and clean up their rooms....when they get up from the table, have them rinse their dishes off and put them in the dishwasher not leave them set on the table or in the sink or even worse, around the living room.
Have them take out the trash, do dishes, teach them to do laundry, run the vacuum, to dust, how to wash up the floors, to grocery shop, let them do it, so they learn, so what if their beds are not done perfectly....as you would do them.
A parents responsibility is to teach their kids to be independent, no co-dependent on mom to do everything. If you are doing everything for them, your creating a monster for the woman he will someday marry.
Same goes for your little girls, they are not dolls to spend money on extremely expensive clothing and teach them they need to label shop....teach them how to look nice but bargin buy clothes...that its more important how they look on the inside, how they treat others, their compassion for others...
Teach kids to be independent, and start young, teach them to be conscientious, to have work etchics and the importance of working together as a team....
I know a lot of you do, do this, but you'd be surprised how many parents do not do this....if both parents are working, the kids can pitch in and help....
example, I have a single mother who is a neighbor, she has 2 sons, one is now 15 and she has yet to teach him to do things when he comes home, he comes home from school, changes and goes outside and comes home for dinner. Never takes the trash out, has no responsiblity what so ever, and we caught him trying to steal change out of cars....give the kid chores to do around the house....so they aren't bored, bored kids will get into trouble....plus grow up believing its the woman's job to do everything....not true...
What I'm saying is, there is something being lost within our communities of young people, if they do get a job, they don't know how to work, or want to work...we as parents, need to work together to change that...
This thread is going to cover a whole lot of subjects regarding kids....work ethics, helping around the house, marriage, school, etc....
I don't know you, or your children, so this is not directed at anyone...it's simply a discussion, if you want to join in please do....simply food for thought
1 Situation
We had our family dinner last evening, my grand daughter is going to school while working as a manager at a local food and ice cream restaurant while going to school, she is 20 years old.
She is so tired of the kids who show up for a pay check but do not work, they refuse to do side work, she had to tell the one kid to go back in and clean the bathrooms....she said a woman came in at 11:30 a.m. and told her that none of the toilet stalls had toilet paper in them, which meant, the kids the night before, didn't do their job and fill them up. She said this is so unfair to the kids that do work and do a great job...and she feels she shouldn't have to continually watch over them like a mother.
She said, at the end of the night, some of these kids blatenly do not do their side work which makes it harder on her and the other kids who do....
It seems that restaurants all over have the same problem, while they have some kids that are great workers, there are others who refuse to do their job, or refuse to even get out there and work.
2. Stituation
So many wives, not all but a lot of wives complain that their husbands think and believe, if they go to work all day, they should be able to come home and do nothing but sit and allow their wives, who are working, to take care of the kids, shop, do laundry, make dinner, take out the trash, clean, etc....
My suggestion here is this, when you kids are growning up start off by having them make their own beds, and clean up their rooms....when they get up from the table, have them rinse their dishes off and put them in the dishwasher not leave them set on the table or in the sink or even worse, around the living room.
Have them take out the trash, do dishes, teach them to do laundry, run the vacuum, to dust, how to wash up the floors, to grocery shop, let them do it, so they learn, so what if their beds are not done perfectly....as you would do them.
A parents responsibility is to teach their kids to be independent, no co-dependent on mom to do everything. If you are doing everything for them, your creating a monster for the woman he will someday marry.
Same goes for your little girls, they are not dolls to spend money on extremely expensive clothing and teach them they need to label shop....teach them how to look nice but bargin buy clothes...that its more important how they look on the inside, how they treat others, their compassion for others...
Teach kids to be independent, and start young, teach them to be conscientious, to have work etchics and the importance of working together as a team....
I know a lot of you do, do this, but you'd be surprised how many parents do not do this....if both parents are working, the kids can pitch in and help....
example, I have a single mother who is a neighbor, she has 2 sons, one is now 15 and she has yet to teach him to do things when he comes home, he comes home from school, changes and goes outside and comes home for dinner. Never takes the trash out, has no responsiblity what so ever, and we caught him trying to steal change out of cars....give the kid chores to do around the house....so they aren't bored, bored kids will get into trouble....plus grow up believing its the woman's job to do everything....not true...
What I'm saying is, there is something being lost within our communities of young people, if they do get a job, they don't know how to work, or want to work...we as parents, need to work together to change that...
Spot on! But also teach your daughters to be independent. The amount of women who need a man to take care of them is ridiculous.
While I agree wholeheartedly with the point of this thread, it isn't going to change anything. No one is going to read it and change their behaviors because most people who do this have zero idea this is directed at them.
While I agree wholeheartedly with the point of this thread, it isn't going to change anything. No one is going to read it and change their behaviors because most people who do this have zero idea this is directed at them.
Maybe, but there is more than one way you could read the OP.
Plenty of awful parenting has been wrapped in "I'm doing this for you!!!" rhetoric.
It would probably be easier if some people just didn't have kids...rather than say all parents should be teachers. Yes they should do these things but sadly many dont and do a whole lot worse.
It seems that restaurants all over have the same problem, while they have some kids that are great workers, there are others who refuse to do their job, or refuse to even get out there and work.
This is not just the current crop of kids, this is every workplace ever.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee
2. Stituation
So many wives, not all but a lot of wives complain that their husbands think and believe, if they go to work all day, they should be able to come home and do nothing but sit and allow their wives, who are working, to take care of the kids, shop, do laundry, make dinner, take out the trash, clean, etc....
My suggestion here is this, when you kids are growning up start off by having them make their own beds, and clean up their rooms....when they get up from the table, have them rinse their dishes off and put them in the dishwasher not leave them set on the table or in the sink or even worse, around the living room.
Have them take out the trash, do dishes, teach them to do laundry, run the vacuum, to dust, how to wash up the floors, to grocery shop, let them do it, so they learn, so what if their beds are not done perfectly....as you would do them.
A parents responsibility is to teach their kids to be independent, no co-dependent on mom to do everything. If you are doing everything for them, your creating a monster for the woman he will someday marry.
So just to be clear... both Mom and Dad should be doing all this teaching, right? Dad can also teach them to cook and clean and do laundry? Teaching is just as much work, if not more, than just doing it yourself. Obviously it's a good long-term investment and a preferable route, but let's make sure we are splitting this responsibility and not just adding to Mom's plate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee
Same goes for your little girls, they are not dolls to spend money on extremely expensive clothing and teach them they need to label shop....teach them how to look nice but bargin buy clothes...that its more important how they look on the inside, how they treat others, their compassion for others...
And teach your little boys not to focus primarily on girls' looks, but to view them as fellow human beings.
I say this as a parent who is gradually integrating chores into her son's life (I confess a certain satisfaction when I see him put his plate in the dishwasher without being asked).
This is not just the current crop of kids, this is every workplace ever.
So just to be clear... both Mom and Dad should be doing all this teaching, right? Dad can also teach them to cook and clean and do laundry? Teaching is just as much work, if not more, than just doing it yourself. Obviously it's a good long-term investment and a preferable route, but let's make sure we are splitting this responsibility and not just adding to Mom's plate.
And teach your little boys not to focus primarily on girls' looks, but to view them as fellow human beings.
I say this as a parent who is gradually integrating chores into her son's life (I confess a certain satisfaction when I see him put his plate in the dishwasher without being asked).
I surely made mistakes and wasn't the perfect parent, but when we went to restaurants, and my son was in a high chair, people would come up to us and compliment us on how well behaved he was....
and yes, there is satisfaction when your son digs in and helps around the house without asking....
my grand daughter is the same way, so it trickles down to the grand kids and so forth....
Its an investment that is so appreciated.
I see so many vids today of parents filming their kids fighting with each other, having melt downs, screaming in restaurants, and swearing, Good Lord? I walked into a restaurant the other week, and was seated at a table near where a young couple had a kid, and that kid got food on the floor, seats and table...and the parents left it like that for the wait staff to clean up....disgusting. I said something to the waitress that I felt sorry for her, b/c it was obviously her station, she said, you should have heard the kid screaming and yelling, she told me that other customers/people were so annoyed....so my point is, that boy, is not going to be taught to clean up after himself, therefore, they are creating a monster for the woman he will someday marry.
IndyDancer This is not just the current crop of kids, this is every workplace ever.
Yes, it is certainly is
Quote:
So just to be clear... both Mom and Dad should be doing all this teaching, right? Dad can also teach them to cook and clean and do laundry? Teaching is just as much work, if not more, than just doing it yourself. Obviously it's a good long-term investment and a preferable route, but let's make sure we are splitting this responsibility and not just adding to Mom's plate.
Of course it's a joint effort, why wouldn't it be....? Both parents have to be on board for this, Dad's gotta teach his kids as well....
Quote:
And teach your little boys not to focus primarily on girls' looks, but to view them as fellow human beings.
Amen!
Quote:
I say this as a parent who is gradually integrating chores into her son's life (I confess a certain satisfaction when I see him put his plate in the dishwasher without being asked).
Yes indeed....it's a real good place to start, how many kids, and dads, get up from the table and leave their stuff on the table for mom to clean up, nope, that didn't fly in our home...everyone took whatever they had to the sink, rinsed them off and put them in the dishwasher....it wasn't my job to clean up after them.....or to pick up after them.
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