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at a BBQ last summer, my SIL's BF had to leave early.
why?
he had to go home to make one of his sons lunch.
How old is the kid?
16.
you have got to be kidding....
she broke up with him the next day.
I guess the 16 year old was not capable of making himself lunch and had to wait until daddy came home to make it.
like seriously, the boy couldn't make a tuna sandwich??? LOL.
I was able to make a grilled cheese at 9 years old.
kids need to be taught how to do things on thier own and learn how to not depend on others, mothers and fathers included, I'm a firm believer in that.
nightcrawler at a BBQ last summer, my SIL's BF had to leave early.
why?
he had to go home to make one of his sons lunch.
How old is the kid?
16.
you have got to be kidding....
she broke up with him the next day.
I guess the 16 year old was not capable of making himself lunch and had to wait until daddy came home to make it.
like seriously, the boy couldn't make a tuna sandwich??? LOL.
I was able to make a grilled cheese at 9 years old.
kids need to be taught how to do things on thier own and learn how to not depend on others, mothers and fathers included, I'm a firm believer in that.
this is actually horrifying, parents like this are the problem they stagnate their children and this one is creating a monster for the woman who comes along and marries him...good lord, what is he thinking?
Many years ago, I was dating a man, a very nice man, who after a few dates, told me, his daughter was a drug addict, which his ex wife caused...and she was coming to live with him....now I commend him for stepping up to the plate, but he wasn't going to make any attempt to get her into theropy or get her help of any kind.
As I said, I was impressed at how kind he was, but at the time, I was having grave problems with a now ex daughter in law...and I surely didn't want any more of the kind in my life. So, the next time he phoned for a date, I told him we didn't have anything in common....that we just shouldn't see each other any longer...we only had 4 dates but spent a lot of time on the phone sharing stories....anyway, he said, "that must have been very difficult for you to do". He was right, it was hard to tell him that....but I wasn't doing him any favors, I should have been upfront with him and told him the truth...maybe it would have helped him?
I know someone else who is giving everything he can to his sons, I guess he is trying to make up for the loss of their mother, anyway, he's spoiled them so very much that they've had car accidents, been arrested several times....and again, he's a really nice guy....but....this is what happens when you do every thing for your kids and give them everything without knowing how to work for anything.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Parents should also be Teachers
Nice plan, if possible, but some parents will never be teachers. (and some parents die, are incapacitated, or work away from home the entire period kids are at home (such as millions in foriegn countries + truckdrivers, oil, researchers, military...)
Grandparents, neighbors, friends can fill the gap.
What I've learned...
1. your kid may work better for the neighbors. Swap kids for paid chores, give them the experience of having a boss (and getting fired)
2. kids can do amazing things. Equip them and let them decide how to accomplish something, they are smarter and more creative than you realize.
3. Let them seek their potential, get out of their way.
4. expose them to different situations and age groups. (Weekly we volunteered with seniors, homeless, and public schools) + lived, worked and traveled internationally (at the expense of staying home and making big bucks and going to soccer or gymnastics every day.
5. read, read, read... toss the TV, or keep it and charge a fee for using it as passive entertainment (it will become very passive quickly)
6. Get your kids exposed to many careers and adult friends. Shadow work experiences, do reports, see other lifestyles.
7. Teach them to journal (show them by example)
8. Listen, listen, listen... kids have legitimate interests and ideas. run with those ideas and see how they pan out.
9. Finances... involve the kids in shopping, budgeting travel... Have the kids pay the bills and exchange money when using foreign currency.
10. Help them be creative (don't impose YOUR ideas or solutions or interests.)
Money is not too important to have lots of, but is important how you allocate. We were a single earner factory night shift worker wage, but we had a very rich life for our kids (without money). They started their Roth IRA's at age 12, and paid for their own college, cars, insurance, and living expenses. They'll recover.
Nice plan, if possible, but some parents will never be teachers. (and some parents die, are incapacitated, or work away from home the entire period kids are at home (such as millions in foriegn countries + truckdrivers, oil, researchers, military...)
Grandparents, neighbors, friends can fill the gap.
What I've learned...
1. your kid may work better for the neighbors. Swap kids for paid chores, give them the experience of having a boss (and getting fired)
2. kids can do amazing things. Equip them and let them decide how to accomplish something, they are smarter and more creative than you realize.
3. Let them seek their potential, get out of their way.
4. expose them to different situations and age groups. (Weekly we volunteered with seniors, homeless, and public schools) + lived, worked and traveled internationally (at the expense of staying home and making big bucks and going to soccer or gymnastics every day.
5. read, read, read... toss the TV, or keep it and charge a fee for using it as passive entertainment (it will become very passive quickly)
6. Get your kids exposed to many careers and adult friends. Shadow work experiences, do reports, see other lifestyles.
7. Teach them to journal (show them by example)
8. Listen, listen, listen... kids have legitimate interests and ideas. run with those ideas and see how they pan out.
9. Finances... involve the kids in shopping, budgeting travel... Have the kids pay the bills and exchange money when using foreign currency.
10. Help them be creative (don't impose YOUR ideas or solutions or interests.)
Money is not too important to have lots of, but is important how you allocate. We were a single earner factory night shift worker wage, but we had a very rich life for our kids (without money). They started their Roth IRA's at age 12, and paid for their own college, cars, insurance, and living expenses. They'll recover.
GOOD post with great ideas...yes indeedy....and your right, kids are very smart, there were stories shared years ago, about how smart they actually are...they sit back and observe.
There are mothers who use their children to sooth themselves, and hold them constantly and babies learn pretty quickly actually it is said, that if you don't want to create a monster baby, then don't do the same thing more than 3 times, for instance, if you feed your baby, bath your baby and rock your baby before putting them down to sleep more then twice, then if you don't do it they won't be able to fall asleep....the woman advises, that habit is anything that you do more then twice, your baby will expect....
that's also something to think about, hummm....
maybe, yeah, can't rule that out.....
that could have of been a possibility.
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