Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think you should follow up with 30 Day Eviction Notices taped to their bedroom doors and I would not set plates for them for dinner. Let them fare for themselves. They should like true ingrates.
I get the offense taken, but I'm not sure if 'the angry letter' approach is likely to yield results. It typically makes the other party defensive and less likely to admit fault.
I think sending the text while your hurt and anger were still fresh made it in to a bigger issue than it had to be. A casually inserted light hearted one liner at the right time could've gotten the point across in a more proportionate manner and without potentially causing a future rift. Plus now when they do remember it next year you won't be sure if it's genuine or they felt obligated. But what's done is done so don't sweat it too much.
Maybe this was one of those times when running a draft past a friend or two before hitting send would've been a good idea. Partially because you'd be forced to cool down first. Can't claw back a phone call or text after the fact. Have to agree about the Hallmark holiday/marketing ploy remark. Also agree that kids tend to be products of their upbringing. How they acknowledge and appreciate their parents from day to day should mean more than saving all the attention up for one day. In the same vein as filing away all sorts of little perceived slights but then unloading on them all at once.
Last edited by Parnassia; 06-20-2023 at 05:01 PM..
Overall we did all we could but it appears it was for naught.
This is the kind of response I'd expect to something more like if they ran someone over while driving drunk or got a teenager pregnant or something, not for forgetting to get a gift for a holiday.
I wouldn't have sent a letter like that. I'd rather hear a happy Father's day, even by phone call from the tub, than to hear it because they were made to . Be glad you got what you did! I have one son I never hear anything from. Nothing for my birthday or Father's Day. I get a gift from him on Christmas and I can truthfully say my DIL picks out nice gifts to put his name on. But his problem is his mother (my ex) made me out to be the bad guy in his eyes. My other son smoked a couple slabs of ribs and had us over for dinner. Wouldn't bother me if I got a card from my sons on Monday morning after Father's day. At least they did something.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 3 days ago)
35,613 posts, read 17,935,039 times
Reputation: 50634
So you went to a play on Saturday evening as a family, and then they left after the play to enjoy their weekends in other ways. Absolutely normal. They did put in time with you, and now it's time to leave that activity.
And then one of them face timed you (I guess? Or maybe just a telephone call) and the other said Happy Fathers Day in person.
Writing that missive isn't going to make them want to spend more time with you, OP. It really does seem like you're pretty demanding. Telling them not to do what M and D (whoever they are) did because they're ungrateful too.
These are young men in their 20's. I don't know what you were expecting.
This is the kind of response I'd expect to something more like if they ran someone over while driving drunk or got a teenager pregnant or something, not for forgetting to get a gift for a holiday.
I thought the reaction was a bit over the top as well. Especially for a dad.
My dad was sentimental, and I made sure to acknowledge him on hist brithday, Father's Day, etc. Me? I don't care even a little bit. A call or even a text is nice, but I'm not going to write the one that didn't bother this year off.
Im curious on whether a big deal was made over fathers day with your kids when they were little ? I feel like things like that set the tone. If your wife never made Father's Day a big deal then I'm not sure why you think your kids at 26, 27 would suddenly do much about it on their own.
To me, it doesn't matter if YOU (whoever YOU might be) think these holidays are stupid. Father's Day wasn't stupid to OP. Mother's Day is not stupid to ME. Valentine's Day is not stupid to me OR my husband.
So...if you have a loved one, it behooves you to find out if those days are important to THEM, and act accordingly.
Some people don't have mother or a father or an SO on Valentine's Day. So yeah some of these holidays are stupid to people. Some actually get offended and really sad on these days. I feel bad for the OP and he should talk to his kids but overall it seems like maybe he just feels unappreciated and has for a while.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Maybe this was one of those times when running a draft past a friend or two before hitting send would've been a good idea. Partially because you'd be forced to cool down first. Can't claw back a phone call or text after the fact. Have to agree about the Hallmark holiday/marketing ploy remark. Also agree that kids tend to be products of their upbringing. How they acknowledge and appreciate their parents from day to day should mean more than saving all the attention up for one day. In the same vein as filing away all sorts of little perceived slights but then unloading on them all at once.
Re
