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attractive, no children, no criminal record or addictions. she has no desire to marry and does not want children. she wants to work, travel and look good.
Maybe she can find something on one of those cruise ships? But, she's gotta look good.
And what happens when she's older and no longer attractive and he gives her up for someone younger, or if he dies, becomes disabled, or leaves and she's stuck with no way to support herself?
There are potential drawbacks to all decisions we make. She could just as easily fall in love with someone 15 years her senior who doesn't have money and does the same thing. She could also find someone older with money who also loves her and won't trade her in for a newer model. Nit picking the scenario doesn't make sense when we are talking hypothetically.
All I'm saying is marrying for money is an option for some folks. It can work out well in the end, or the marriage can become a disaster, that's for the OP's daughter to figure out. I'm not forcing her into it, but it IS an option. As I said, I wish my aunt did something like that because she is literally going to be homeless soon. She currently collects 250 a week from her own son instead. It's pathetic.
If OP is paying her bills, feeding and housing her, yet she won't talk about career and financial planning, it's time for a serious discussion on where this is going.
This is what I was thinking, too. Nothing will cause the daughter to be frozen in place faster than food, shelter, and mom and dad paying for everything.
I just want to say that we don't convince ourselves that we suck at math (or whatever it is for her). We've learned it during our horrible experience of going to summer school every year since the 9th grade, being told by our guidance counselors to just take gym in our senior year because by 12th grade we still hadn't passed Pre-Algebra, barely passing our SATs, etc. When we tell you we won't do well in college, we mean it because we KNOW.
You arguing with us about it does not help us. It stresses us out even more because we want you to love us and believe in us but you pushing us into something we know will just be another shizitty year of not being good enough is not we what need. She sounds about as beat down as I was after high school. Granted, by her age I had a career, and back in the 90s it was a lot easier to get somewhere without a degree, but it's still doable, perhaps if she went to tech school for a trade instead.
I feel for you, I do, but please put yourself in her shoes. She just wants someone to believe in her.
I struggled in math, too, in HS. I was otherwise a good student but anything prealgebra and up was ridiculously hard for me and made no sense to me. I just could not "get it" no matter how hard I tried. Some of the C's that I got were only achieved because I did extra credit.
I went to college and could not pass a math class to save my life. I internalized how bad at math I was. I would never understand it. I was stupid in math.
Then I became a mom and when I helped my kids with their math homework in elementary school, I realized that I was actually pretty good at the lower level stuff. Then came PreAlgebra, I purchased some "for dummies" types of books and figured it out. I was pretty solid on that, too.
Because I had been shoring up my math skills by helping my kids, I was able to assist them with Algebra 1, too. Then everything just "clicked" for the oldest and he had it from there. The youngest also got good grades. Both did well on the math portion of the SAT/ACT.
It wasn't until after both of my kids had graduated from HS and went onto college that I decided to do an online prep class in the hopes that I could score high enough on the placement tests at our community college to place into college level math.
I worked the modules in that prep class day and night, for hours at a time, rebuilding and reinforcing my math skills from the ground up. In just 3 weeks, I was able to go to the CC and place by a solid margin into college level math. I signed up to take an abbreviated summer class which went at a much faster clip than the classes taught during the Fall and Spring semesters. I proceeded to earn not just an A but the highest grade in my class.
I went from being horrible in math to being pretty darned good with it. I have heard other stories similar to my own. Sometimes it's not because you are horrible at math, it's because you have a weak foundation for it. If you don't know the order of operations, for instance, you are not going to succeed in an Algebra class. The prep class I used was not free but it was a downright bargain compared to taking a remedial class at the college.
Flight attendant might be an option, but cruise ships would likely involve her rooming with strangers. I don’t know a lot about cruise ships, but what I know is that they tend to hire service staff from other countries because they can pay lower salary
Flight attendant might be an option, but cruise ships would likely involve her rooming with strangers. I don’t know a lot about cruise ships, but what I know is that they tend to hire service staff from other countries because they can pay lower salary
Yes, I do think they tend to hire staff from other countries but I have seen some job listings posted in the U.S. so maybe some of the cruise lines are hiring in the U.S., too, depending on where they are going.
It's just something to look into because she enjoys traveling.
She has worked in service and hospitality for a few yrs now but she has not stayed more than a year or two, then off to another one. The jobs don't pay much. She's gotten as far as team manager and has always been replaced by someone with a certification or a degree. I encouraged her to pursue a certification or a degree but she doesn't feel the need to pursue it.
Some hospitality jobs pay better. For example, waiters and waitresses in high end restaurants in Las Vegas can earn north of $170,000 per year, primarily in tips. Parking valets at the Las Vegas resorts clear $100K, mostly in cash tips. Outside the hospitality industry, I know of union pipe fitter who made $250K/year building the new football stadium for the Raiders.
In Park City - a small ski resort town - tipped hospitality employees earn well into 6 figures, Others not so much (e.g., ski tuning techs in the winter/bike tuning techs in the summer).
If I were interested in the hospitality industry, I'd head to Las Vegas or to resort towns (but resort towns tend to be seasonal).
There is such an emphasis on college, that any young adult without a degree is looked down on. It's not only seen as a lack knowledge, but as a economic class divider. It's like not being in the "cool" group.
There are two dominant theories of education.
1. It isn't what you learn in the classes & majors; rather, by completing a degree the student sends "a signal" to would-be employers of attributes that the employer might find worthwhile but that are difficult to discover by interview. These include "stick-to-it-ness" to complete a 4 year program, and (for run-of-the-mill non-research-universities) a baseline minimum of intellectual horsepower.
2. It is indeed what you learn inside each class: you add to human capital. You passed XYZ class with an "A"? You've learned a lot that would be applicable to an employer. There are other ways to attain the human capital, of course.
A few of my good friends are degree-less, and are wonderful human beings. Others of my good friends are very well educated.
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