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Probably because, increasingly, "having fun with others" means spending tons of money. It didn't always. Friends used to just hang out at each others homes, maybe take turns cooking dinner for each other, going for walks, sitting in a park, etc. Now it's nothing but eating out, buying tickets to things, traveling places, having the right clothes for all these activities and, among people I know, constantly "gifting" each other stuff they don't need -- all of which is unnecessary to just be with people you like. The cost of friendship has risen. Now, in retirement, I've lost all my "free" social connections at work and find I HAVE to spend money just to get some human interaction! It's sad.
I totally agree that you can have fun without spending money. It’s sad that so many people no longer do the free things you mentioned. I do them with friends and every Friday we have lunch at someone’s house and play games. There’s 5 of us in my condo building that take turns cooking dinner once a month and we spend the rest of the time talking. It’s always fun.
Not retired (as a pre-cursor to my comment, but I'm cheap!)
I have had an amazing 36 months. Lots of things have come together nicely for me. On the flip side a friend died back in July at 61, stage 4 stomach cancer and he didn't make it 60 days from diagnosis (blue collar guy, worked his azz off but never got ahead, was thinking about retirement and he didn't make it 60 more days). Going to a funeral tomorrow for a friends mom. She had a good run BUT didn't do much in the last 20 years. The moral to the story is you don't know your "expiration date!"
I've spent more money in the last 24 months than I have in the last 20 years. Some really epic adventures, like write a book type things. Now that was possible because some other things have paid off nicely. Some milestones have been hit in my family so the pressure lessens a bit. Played golf this morning, kid was 3 over on the front nine and we tied it up at the turn. Did that cost money, not much but I was thrilled to see the talent play out.
I want nothing. I have the money to buy anything I want and simply want nothing more than I have. In fact, I need to get rid of most stuff I already have. I don’t need anything I don’t have. Stuff doesn’t make me happy. When I was younger, I wanted a lot of things that I couldn’t afford. Now that I can afford anything I want, I don’t want anything. I don’t think it’s a psychological thing about the challenge of obtaining something. I think it has more to do with being 62 years old and not wanting to accumulate more stuff since I am getting closer to my final chapter.
I want nothing. I have the money to buy anything I want and simply want nothing more than I have. In fact, I need to get rid of most stuff I already have. I don’t need anything I don’t have. Stuff doesn’t make me happy. When I was younger, I wanted a lot of things that I couldn’t afford. Now that I can afford anything I want, I don’t want anything. I don’t think it’s a psychological thing about the challenge of obtaining something. I think it has more to do with being 62 years old and not wanting to accumulate more stuff since I am getting closer to my final chapter.
Good luck. There is no right or wrong answer.
Yes. When I was younger, I was definitely more physically fit and active, and there was many things I wanted to do for fun, and luxuries I wanted to buy, but I had little time and not much money. Now that I am retired I am not fit enough to do much of what I could do when I was young, and even though i can now afford to splurge on a few luxuries, I just don't have the desire to do so, except for books (and I am still cheap enough to buy used books). I am just glad that at least I got to see and do many things when I was young instead of never taking a vacation, for example. I think the trick is in finding the right balance -- to have fun and treat yourself once in a while without going broke.
I want nothing. I have the money to buy anything I want and simply want nothing more than I have. In fact, I need to get rid of most stuff I already have. I don’t need anything I don’t have. Stuff doesn’t make me happy. When I was younger, I wanted a lot of things that I couldn’t afford. Now that I can afford anything I want, I don’t want anything. I don’t think it’s a psychological thing about the challenge of obtaining something. I think it has more to do with being 62 years old and not wanting to accumulate more stuff since I am getting closer to my final chapter.
There's a difference between buying stuff and buying experiences. You're clearly talking about the former and not the latter.
Ofcourse no one needs new shoes, cars, clothes, laptops, tvs, phones, etc. which are "stuff" but many people do enjoy experiences that you cannot store in a closet. Example, a nice meal, a nice hike with good views, a nice road trip, a nice dinner show, a nice vacation, a first class flight, fast internet, an African safari, a kiss under the Eiffel tower, skydiving, scuba diving, museums, historical areas, swimming with dolphins, etc.
If you, or the OP, truly do not want any new experiences, that's fine too. But it's important to have a distinction.
Location: By the sea, by the sea, by the beautiful sea
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berteau
Single guy here and all I do is save money. I'm frugal but also don't even find things I want to spend money on. I don't care about cars. I don't go out and drink at bars anymore. I have everything I want for my house. I don't buy clothes. My hobbies are cheap or free. Is this normal?
Reminds me of the Willie Nelson lyric: I may not be normal, but nobody is
There's a difference between buying stuff and buying experiences. You're clearly talking about the former and not the latter.
Ofcourse no one needs new shoes, cars, clothes, laptops, tvs, phones, etc. which are "stuff" but many people do enjoy experiences that you cannot store in a closet. Example, a nice meal, a nice hike with good views, a nice road trip, a nice dinner show, a nice vacation, a first class flight, fast internet, an African safari, a kiss under the Eiffel tower, skydiving, scuba diving, museums, historical areas, swimming with dolphins, etc.
If you, or the OP, truly do not want any new experiences, that's fine too. But it's important to have a distinction.
Agreed... A lot of us here don't need or want more "stuff," but I find it hard to live a normal (or as normal as I get) life without spending some money! You can scrimp on a lot of items, but others are essential if you're going to have experiences. Gas to get places, meals eaten out while there, tickets to events, and that's not even including real travel. I'd think the only way to avoid that would be to just sit in your house and "experience" whatever you can there. Even then, you have housing costs!
I think after a while, for many people, chasing "experiences" elsewhere loses its appeal, and they realize that home is as good a place as any to experience the world and nature. If you delight in nature, then you can have lots of experiences observing the natural world around you: the changes of the seasons, wildflowers, gardens, bird life, sunrises and sunsets, weather, and the night sky. I keep a calendar where I record my nature observations, and compare to previous years.
"A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it." -- George A. Moore
"Nature is not a place to visit, it is home." -- Gary Snyder
I think after a while, for many people, chasing "experiences" elsewhere loses its appeal, and they realize that home is as good a place as any to experience the world and nature.
"A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it." -- George A. Moore
Absolutely, but not 24/7/365 (for most people). Especially if you're single and live alone, sitting home constantly can drive you a little batty, as we learned during the pandemic...
Absolutely, but not 24/7/365 (for most people). Especially if you're single and live alone, sitting home constantly can drive you a little batty, as we learned during the pandemic...
In this sense, "home" means the general area where one lives, not a residence.
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