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Someone on Find a Grave was trying to get info on the people in her local cemetery. Most of the older graves were relatives of mine and I have a small booklet printed in 1948 of all the relatives and their relationships to each other (the graveyard itself was donated out of my great-grandparent's farm).
I guess anyone can go in and make edits, but I emailed the person who had done the original info first to ask her permission to edit and she was quite enthusiastic about me doing so. Because of that, I'm glad I asked first and didn't just jump in and start editing.
After reading this thread I checked FindaGrave for my late husband. His photograph and obituary are there and apparently posted by someone that I never heard of. What would be reasons for me to have it transferred to my name?
I think if you want more or less information posted, then you should try to have it transferred. I have heard of people refusing to transfer "their" findagraves & I don't know if that's true or not. If I were you, I would request to have it transferred.
I have run across more than one that had seriously flawed information & the manager was reluctant to amend it. Since the findagrraves were not my family members, I did not pursue it. I do warn newby genealogists to not consider findagrave to be a fact without further supporting documentation.
It seems odd to me that people create findagrraves from obits when they have not photographed the grave markers. But I have nothimg but high praise & gratitude for those who walk & photograph cemeteries.
That happened with both of my parents. The FindaGrave memorials were set up by the time we drove back cross country after the funerals. Fortunately, both memorials were transferred to me on my request.
I consider that something of a.. Classless move. The people who are adding obits from the current newspapers or even funeral home sites. Now, after a month or so.. I have no problem with it, but the same day? It's not against the rules, though I don't agree with those rules.
Admittedly.. 99% of people wouldn't add one for their relative. But for the ones who would..
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
After reading this thread I checked FindaGrave for my late husband. His photograph and obituary are there and apparently posted by someone that I never heard of. What would be reasons for me to have it transferred to my name?
I don't know where I fall on that. I mean, grabbing the photo or whatever from the funeral home site... Feels a touch creepy, but then again.. In 100 years.. assuming all this still is around.. That could be astoundingly useful for your great grandchildren to see a pic.
My opinion is.. I don't do it, but I don't begrudge those who take the time to do it. So long as they are responsive that if someone objects.. They respect those wishes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rodentraiser
Someone on Find a Grave was trying to get info on the people in her local cemetery. Most of the older graves were relatives of mine and I have a small booklet printed in 1948 of all the relatives and their relationships to each other (the graveyard itself was donated out of my great-grandparent's farm).
I guess anyone can go in and make edits, but I emailed the person who had done the original info first to ask her permission to edit and she was quite enthusiastic about me doing so. Because of that, I'm glad I asked first and didn't just jump in and start editing.
If you join, you can SUGGEST edits. It's up to the manager of the memorial to approve those changes (If they don't, they're auto-applied after 21 days).. As I said, I rarely decline an edit, because my feeling is, if someone is taking the time to make an edit.. They likely know more about the person than I do, since I just added it because I came across the marker while photographing a cemetery. Obviously, if something is patently wrong, I will decline, and normally send a note. The biggest thing is to follow the rules. And the biggest rule is "Last name as it is on the marker".. So, if dear Aunt Bessie was buried on a marker with her first husband John Smith, but remarried Bob Banks.. If the marker says Smith, she's logged on FindaGrave as Smith.. But, you can link the second husband to her.
MOST people at findagrave are quite kind and doing this to help people. I tend to treat people as they treat me. Aggressive/rude messages are generally answered in kind. I never decline to transfer a memorial to someone that wants it. I've gotten just a ton of thank yous from people who didn't know where a relative was buried.. I put a woman in touch with relatives she didn't know existed a month or two ago.. Hell, I solved a missing persons case through volunteering with findagrave.
Someone asked why to have a memorial transferred to you.. There's really not a good reason, unless the person managing it is unreasonable or something. Some people just like to 'control' the memorials of their family, and I understand that. as I said, I never decline a transfer request, unless someone has been sending edits against the rules and then wants a transfer. Never hit that situation, tho.
After reading this thread I checked FindaGrave for my late husband. His photograph and obituary are there and apparently posted by someone that I never heard of. What would be reasons for me to have it transferred to my name?
Quote:
Originally Posted by historyfan
I think if you want more or less information posted, then you should try to have it transferred. I have heard of people refusing to transfer "their" findagraves & I don't know if that's true or not. If I were you, I would request to have it transferred.
I have run across more than one that had seriously flawed information & the manager was reluctant to amend it. Since the findagrraves were not my family members, I did not pursue it. I do warn newby genealogists to not consider findagrave to be a fact without further supporting documentation.
It seems odd to me that people create findagrraves from obits when they have not photographed the grave markers. But I have nothimg but high praise & gratitude for those who walk & photograph cemeteries.
Thank you. The information is correct. I discovered that there are memorials for my parents (as well as many of my other relatives in that cemetery). And their grave stones are pictured. It is too bad that the oldest markers (1825 to 1850) were not photographed and identified before the last generation passed away. My late aunts & uncles knew who many of those stones belonged to (and told me verbally) but I never wrote it down and I doubt if any of my cousins did either.
I have been ill so my husband's grave does not yet have a marker.
BTW, when I do order a marker I will follow the pattern of many of my relatives by putting on our wedding date and names of our children. I am also doing what my aunt and uncle did and put genealogy information on the back of the stone. "Son of John and Mary Jones Smith. Daughter of William and Janet McDonald Winters" (fake names as an example). I am surprised that more people don't do that.
Last edited by germaine2626; 09-21-2019 at 05:26 PM..
After reading this thread I checked FindaGrave for my late husband. His photograph and obituary are there and apparently posted by someone that I never heard of. What would be reasons for me to have it transferred to my name?
You are the spouse. Upon your request, the memorial MUST be transferred to you. If not, report the contributor who refuses you.
Thank you. The information is correct. I discovered that there are memorials for my parents (as well as many of my other relatives in that cemetery). And their grave stones are pictured. It is too bad that the oldest markers (1825 to 1850) were not photographed and identified before the last generation passed away. My late aunts & uncles knew who many of those stones belonged to (and told me verbally) but I never wrote it down and I doubt if any of my cousins did either.
I have been ill so my husband's grave does not yet have a marker.
BTW, when I do order a marker I will follow the pattern of many of my relatives by putting on our wedding date and names of our children. I am also doing what my aunt and uncle did and put genealogy information on the back of the stone. "Son of John and Mary Jones Smith. Daughter of William and Janet McDonald Winters" (fake names as an example). I am surprised that more people don't do that.
Are you sure the older stones have not been photographed? Find A Grave will list all the people in a cemetery for which memorials have been made. If you recognize a name and there is no photo you can request one.
I would be happy if more people just put women's maiden names on their stones. I have a great great grandmother that I was able to confirm her parents for sure only because her maiden name was on her stone.
I had someone be incredibly hostile to me about a memorial I made that she wants changed. This person was aggressive from her first contact. She did not provide any documentation and I didn't have time to immediately go back in and see if I could find info to validate her claim. I cited my source in the memorial and relayed that to her. In less than a week, I got a nasty note back and she also said she has made a new memorial with her info and I can change my memorial or hand it over to her. I want my memorials to be correct. I wasn't unwilling to change my info if it is incorrect because I want correct info out there.
I don't think this person behavior should go unreported. What's the best way to handle the situation?
If she is family, she can ask you to transfer the memorial to her account. Find A Grave has guidelines on how close of family you have to be to claim them as family. You can say no but be prepared for Find A Grave to contact you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
After reading this thread I checked FindaGrave for my late husband. His photograph and obituary are there and apparently posted by someone that I never heard of. What would be reasons for me to have it transferred to my name?
Most of us volunteers on Find A Grave do not know the people in the memorials we create. I have made some while helping someone with their family tree on family search. If I run across information which lists cemetery, I'll go to find a grave to check if the memorial has been added, if not I will make one.
Since the memorial is your husband, you can ask them to transfer it to you, tell them he's your husband and you'd like to manage it.
I've had people transfer memorials to me without me asking. I'm always finding info on people in our family tree and always go on find a grave to make sure it has all of the info and to connect as much family as I can. I sent changes for my son's great great grandfathers family, the person transferred the whole family to me.
I have other family where the person won't transfer my relative to me. One gal manages my grandfathers brothers memorials but didn't want to hand them over which is fine because she's done a lot of work on the family with making a public tree on ancestry for them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Labonte18
I consider that something of a.. Classless move. The people who are adding obits from the current newspapers or even funeral home sites. Now, after a month or so.. I have no problem with it, but the same day? It's not against the rules, though I don't agree with those rules.
Admittedly.. 99% of people wouldn't add one for their relative. But for the ones who would..
I don't know where I fall on that. I mean, grabbing the photo or whatever from the funeral home site... Feels a touch creepy, but then again.. In 100 years.. assuming all this still is around.. That could be astoundingly useful for your great grandchildren to see a pic.
My opinion is.. I don't do it, but I don't begrudge those who take the time to do it. So long as they are responsive that if someone objects.. They respect those wishes.
If you join, you can SUGGEST edits. It's up to the manager of the memorial to approve those changes (If they don't, they're auto-applied after 21 days).. As I said, I rarely decline an edit, because my feeling is, if someone is taking the time to make an edit.. They likely know more about the person than I do, since I just added it because I came across the marker while photographing a cemetery. Obviously, if something is patently wrong, I will decline, and normally send a note. The biggest thing is to follow the rules. And the biggest rule is "Last name as it is on the marker".. So, if dear Aunt Bessie was buried on a marker with her first husband John Smith, but remarried Bob Banks.. If the marker says Smith, she's logged on FindaGrave as Smith.. But, you can link the second husband to her.
MOST people at findagrave are quite kind and doing this to help people. I tend to treat people as they treat me. Aggressive/rude messages are generally answered in kind. I never decline to transfer a memorial to someone that wants it. I've gotten just a ton of thank yous from people who didn't know where a relative was buried.. I put a woman in touch with relatives she didn't know existed a month or two ago.. Hell, I solved a missing persons case through volunteering with findagrave.
Someone asked why to have a memorial transferred to you.. There's really not a good reason, unless the person managing it is unreasonable or something. Some people just like to 'control' the memorials of their family, and I understand that. as I said, I never decline a transfer request, unless someone has been sending edits against the rules and then wants a transfer. Never hit that situation, tho.
That's my profile there. One thing I will mention. I'm 45. I probably skew far younger than the average age of people on the site. Most are retirees.
I'm reading your profile where you mention duplicate memorials. Find a grave says the older of the 2 memorials is the one that should stay with the newer one deleted.
Thank you. The information is correct. I discovered that there are memorials for my parents (as well as many of my other relatives in that cemetery). And their grave stones are pictured. It is too bad that the oldest markers (1825 to 1850) were not photographed and identified before the last generation passed away. My late aunts & uncles knew who many of those stones belonged to (and told me verbally) but I never wrote it down and I doubt if any of my cousins did either.
(snip).
Quote:
Originally Posted by suzy_q2010
Are you sure the older stones have not been photographed? Find A Grave will list all the people in a cemetery for which memorials have been made. If you recognize a name and there is no photo you can request one.
(snip).
I tried to look up some of the names that I knew and no stone and no memorial. These old stones, from almost 200 years ago, are almost completely unreadable. Some have worn down so much that they are basically smooth. That is especially true in the "baby row". Those stones were much smaller, and may even have been made out of a different type of stone.
However, I may contact some of my cousins to see if they remember which of the stones belong to which relative. There has also been a "cemetery board" (for at least 50 years and probably much longer) and it is possible that they have more records then I know about.
If she is family, she can ask you to transfer the memorial to her account. Find A Grave has guidelines on how close of family you have to be to claim them as family. You can say no but be prepared for Find A Grave to contact you.
I don't know what this person's relationship is. She didn't really provide any info. Like I said, her approach was pretty hostile. Her comment was "Change it or give it to me and I will change it." Also, I'm a relative. Presumably, she is too.
That being said, what's 'nasty' to one person is just blunt to another.
True, but creating a duplicate memorial when you're not supposed to do that just so she can have control of it sounds very consistent with someone who is bossy/hostile, controlling, entitled, and/or demanding/pushy.
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