How do you report someone on FindAGrave? (certificate, sibling, person)
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I tried to look up some of the names that I knew and no stone and no memorial. These old stones, from almost 200 years ago, are almost completely unreadable. Some have worn down so much that they are basically smooth. That is especially true in the "baby row". Those stones were much smaller, and may even have been made out of a different type of stone.
However, I may contact some of my cousins to see if they remember which of the stones belong to which relative. There has also been a "cemetery board" (for at least 50 years and probably much longer) and it is possible that they have more records then I know about.
Another possibility is that a survey of the cemetery was done at some point and the graves have been identified. Someone on the "board" might know. Some communities have books that compile surveys of all of the cemeteries. They served the purpose that Find A Grave does now.
True, but creating a duplicate memorial when you're not supposed to do that just so she can have control of it sounds very consistent with someone who is bossy/hostile, controlling, entitled, and/or demanding/pushy.
You also get longer than four or five days to make a change.
I'm not against changing it if it is wrong. I'm also not against giving the memorial to someone else. I have no idea if she is correct because she provided no evidence and now I need to go back in and research some more. She didn't actually ask for me to give her the memorial. She simply demanded it and left a rude message along with notice of the second memorial. I don't know how she is related. It may be someone who deserves the memorial because of her relationship to the deceased. I don't want to contact her to ask for further clarification because my experiences with her haven't been good so far.
You also get longer than four or five days to make a change.
I'm not against changing it if it is wrong. I'm also not against giving the memorial to someone else. I have no idea if she is correct because she provided no evidence and now I need to go back in and research some more. She didn't actually ask for me to give her the memorial. She simply demanded it and left a rude message along with notice of the second memorial. I don't know how she is related. It may be someone who deserves the memorial because of her relationship to the deceased. I don't want to contact her to ask for further clarification because my experiences with her haven't been good so far.
I don't blame you, and you're right to question her info - whenever I send suggested edits, I always include a reference or link to the evidence supporting it. I don't expect anyone to ever just believe me, a random stranger on the internet. Genealogy is evidence based research - it amazes me how many people I come across in genealogy who expect everyone to just take their word for something without any evidence or proof whatsoever.
I'm going to request (or demand if necessary), that my parents' obituaries be removed. If someone wants to take a photograph of my parents' shared gravesite and upload it to FindAGrave, fine. But otherwise...
I'm going to request (or demand if necessary), that my parents' obituaries be removed. If someone wants to take a photograph of my parents' shared gravesite and upload it to FindAGrave, fine. But otherwise...
Obituaries included with memorials are usually taken from funeral home and newspaper web sites. Are you going to take those down, too?
Obituaries included with memorials are usually taken from funeral home and newspaper web sites. Are you going to take those down, too?
TBH, I read the terms of Legacy.com, the newspaper and FindaGrave. Believe it or not, Legacy and the newspapers DO restrict the use of their publications. Who knew?!
I'm reading your profile where you mention duplicate memorials. Find a grave says the older of the 2 memorials is the one that should stay with the newer one deleted.
If mine is the older.. I don't care. I mean, so long as there's one accurate memorial.. As I said.. Not a numbers game to me. I care about accuracy. Yeah.. if someone comes along and is creating dupes over and over.. that's a different story.
pretty sure that rule is there to settle arguments. Plus.. It's pretty amazing the responses I'm getting back from staff when I submit duplicates.. About a third of those that I submit, the 'duplicate' is kept because the original has either multiple name changes or location changes. Meaning, it went from "Unknown" to the cemetery sometime after the 'duplicate' was created or the various marriage last name thing. So, they actually check those things when you submit a dupe and the oldest does NOT always remain.
It's just easier on everyone if the users settle these things without getting staff involved. You realize that things sent to edit@findagrave.com are currently under a 6 month backlog? That is part of the problem with the site. Rather than people working together, there's too many bitchy people who just send things to edit.
I keep harping that people need to pass a quiz before they're allowed to add memorials. Because even members who have been there 15 years haven't read the freaking rules.
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Originally Posted by PA2UK
True, but creating a duplicate memorial when you're not supposed to do that just so she can have control of it sounds very consistent with someone who is bossy/hostile, controlling, entitled, and/or demanding/pushy.
Report hers as a dupe and.. Presto.
Then you can point and laugh at them if you really feel evil. remember.. I'm kinda treat people like they treat you, so.. Yeah.. They'd have that coming.
If I take the time to think it through.. I figure staff there has far better things to do than mediate slap fights between members. So, I'd probably have attempted to verify the information myself from the start.
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Originally Posted by suzy_q2010
Obituaries included with memorials are usually taken from funeral home and newspaper web sites. Are you going to take those down, too?
While I don't agree with their attitude of even thinking about "demanding" things be taken down, at least at the start.. Should always start with a polite request... That's their right, to politely request something be removed. If someone requests an entire memorial be taken down.. It will happen. I've had several request a photo of a marker be taken down.. I explain why it's valuable to keep it, but then that I am more than willing to remove it if they're certain. Only happened 2 or 3 times. One still wanted it removed, so.. I removed it. And told them that there was nothing stopping someone else from putting one up in the future.
For an obit.. They just have to say it's copyrighted material. For a VERY long time, posting images of an obit was against the rules due to that. And due to the fact that you used to only be able to have 5 images per memorial. They've just opened that up in the past few years. Used to have to type them out and provide a source. Many members still do this.
Your reply would do nothing but make more work for the staff. Because you're just egging it on. Funny thing is.. They'll go to staff, it will be removed, and you'll never know. So.. What was truly accomplished? I suppose you both walk away thinking you 'won'.. Congratulations?
Obituaries included with memorials are usually taken from funeral home and newspaper web sites. Are you going to take those down, too?
Those are provided (and paid for) by the family. I don't think it's about it being on the internet, it's about the fact that some random stranger took a loved one's death information and created an FG memorial, probably just to boost their numbers, without any consideration for the grieving family. It's callous. Of course, it's also public information and I'm sure they defend themselves by saying they're just doing it to make public info as readily available to research as possible - but what is legal/public and what is considerate of people's feelings is not necessarily the same.
Yes, Roselvr already suggested that. However, reporting the duplication without reporting her behavior is likely to just set her off again - she'll probably come at the OP guns blazing if the staff don't do something to block or ban her from the site at the same time.
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Then you can point and laugh at them if you really feel evil. remember.. I'm kinda treat people like they treat you, so.. Yeah.. They'd have that coming.
I don't really see the point in that.
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If I take the time to think it through.. I figure staff there has far better things to do than mediate slap fights between members. So, I'd probably have attempted to verify the information myself from the start.
I guess it depends how bad it is. If it escalates to the point of abusive or harassment, they would probably have to step in.
Have you reported her to Find A Grave yet? If not, you should screen shot what she sent you and include it in your email so that they can see exactly what she said.
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Originally Posted by Sarahsez
You also get longer than four or five days to make a change.
I'm not against changing it if it is wrong. I'm also not against giving the memorial to someone else. I have no idea if she is correct because she provided no evidence and now I need to go back in and research some more. She didn't actually ask for me to give her the memorial. She simply demanded it and left a rude message along with notice of the second memorial. I don't know how she is related. It may be someone who deserves the memorial because of her relationship to the deceased. I don't want to contact her to ask for further clarification because my experiences with her haven't been good so far.
You can go to family search to make the person a quick profile so you can find records that hopefully will show the info that you need unless you already have the person in your tree elsewhere.
Go to the memorial she wanted you to change, grab the URL to include with your email to Find A Grave. While on the memorial she wanted you to change, on the right you'll see "See more XX last name memorials in:" click the 1st one, same cemetery to see if her new memorial comes up. If it does come up, click on it. I suggest grabbing the URL for the duplicate to include with your email to Find A Grave. Let them deal with it. In the future if you come across a duplicate; click the suggest edits button and scroll to under where spouses would be listed; you'll see "other" suggest other corrections and report duplicate memorials.
I tried to make a duplicate of one of my memorials to see if it could or couldn't be done. Last time I was on find a grave making memorials it wouldn't let me make one when a similar one came up as a suggestion. Unfortunately they now allow you to make one even when the info is exactly the same. They should have left it the way they had it back then.
They give 21 days but it could be up to 30 days for changes. I went to the FAQ's to grab the questions and answers that will hopefully help you with this person.
What if I suggest edits and the member doesn't respond? - Have patience. Many members receive hundreds of edits every month and it may take a while for them to research your suggestions. Members have 21 days to accept or decline suggested edits.
What if I sent a suggestion via the email option and the member hasn’t responded? - If you have waited longer than 30 days for an emailed suggestion to be processed and there has not been a response, forward your copy of the suggestion along with source documentation to edit@findagrave.com. The suggestion will be reviewed and processed.
How do I get a relative's memorial transferred to me?
First, Determine if you really need the memorial transferred to you for management. Only request a transfer if you have extensive changes to make to a memorial. You can add photos and suggest corrections without the need to manage a memorial. Simply having someone in your family tree is not sufficient to request a transfer. With millions of members, there will be many overlapping family trees and it would be impossible for all members to manage their entire tree.
Second, Transfer requests will be for direct relatives within four generations. This would be your spouse, siblings, parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.
Third, If you have extensive additions or changes to make to a memorial, contact the memorial manager via the ‘Suggest other Corrections’ link under the ‘Suggest Edits’ button on the memorial in question with your request to have the memorial transferred to you. This will send an email request to the member, even if there is not an email address listed on their profile.
Fourth, Always explain your relationship in the request! Any non-direct relatives (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) are not a required transfer. Keep in mind that the memorial manager may also be related to the memorial and may not make the transfer. You may also want to include your specific interest in the memorial. Do not make bulk surname requests. Memorials listed as famous or maintained by Find A Grave will not be transferred.
What if a member will not transfer a relative to me? - If the memorial in question is a direct relative within four generations (spouse, siblings, parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents) to you and the memorial manager is not direct family, then they must transfer the memorial. If they refuse to transfer the memorial, contact info@findagrave.com and we will work on it for you. Remember that there are millions of members, and it is highly likely that some of those members will actually be part of your family tree and share some common ancestors. Additionally, the goal is to have meaningfully accurate memorials that honor those who have passed away regardless of who created or maintains the memorial.
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Originally Posted by PA2UK
Yes, Roselvr already suggested that. However, reporting the duplication without reporting her behavior is likely to just set her off again - she'll probably come at the OP guns blazing if the staff don't do something to block or ban her from the site at the same time.
I don't really see the point in that.
I guess it depends how bad it is. If it escalates to the point of abusive or harassment, they would probably have to step in.
Find A Grave will ban anyone that harasses members
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