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I had someone be incredibly hostile to me about a memorial I made that she wants changed. This person was aggressive from her first contact. She did not provide any documentation and I didn't have time to immediately go back in and see if I could find info to validate her claim. I cited my source in the memorial and relayed that to her. In less than a week, I got a nasty note back and she also said she has made a new memorial with her info and I can change my memorial or hand it over to her. I want my memorials to be correct. I wasn't unwilling to change my info if it is incorrect because I want correct info out there.
I don't think this person behavior should go unreported. What's the best way to handle the situation?
Find A Grave isn't worth bothering with. It is made up by obsessed, territorial people on the lookout as to whom can chalk up the most graves. The best way of dealing with the immature behavior of Find A Grave is divorcing yourself from the site.
Find A Grave isn't worth bothering with. It is made up by obsessed, territorial people on the lookout as to whom can chalk up the most graves. The best way of dealing with the immature behavior of Find A Grave is divorcing yourself from the site.
Sorry you feel that way about Find A Grave. Personally I find it useful , and don't care if others are acting like it's Facebook.
When I first started using it, I found both sets of my grandparents already posted by non-relatives, and they were accurate. Many other entries have helped to break down "brick walls".
That said, one not so great situation is when posts are made with no actual grave info or photo, and/or no spouse, parent or child info.
I'll continue to appreciate Find A Grave, and be puzzled by people not liking it. But then again, they are probably the type who are constantly miserable, and can't be made happy by any means. We've got more than our share these days...
Find A Grave isn't worth bothering with. It is made up by obsessed, territorial people on the lookout as to whom can chalk up the most graves. The best way of dealing with the immature behavior of Find A Grave is divorcing yourself from the site.
You don't have to contribute to it, and therefore you don't have to deal with people like that. If you just take it for what it is: an online gravesite database, it can be very useful for genealogy research. There's other gravesite websites like BillionGraves, but I imagine they have the same issues. The only other alternative is to track down the gravesites yourself, which is a lot of work and unnecessary if it's documented online. Seems like refusing to use FG at all is just cutting off your nose to spite your face.
I had no idea that people would randomly scour newspapers to create a memorial on FindAGrave.It appears that my father's body was still warm when his "memorial" was added. WTF is wrong with people?
Thankfully, even though one of my siblings wanted otherwise, I insisted my grandchild remain nameless in the obit.
I didn't either. That's really weird to me. When I die I don't want some random thinking they have the right to memorialize me without even knowing me. That would be an insult to me and my family. I don't even want an obit. Just cremate me and be done.
I think Find a Grave is one of the most useful genealogical sites around and I have personally found them one of the closest to being largely accurate.
A birth record, a marriage record, and a death record are all primary sources. As we all know, however, they often don't precisely coincide date-wise. The person giving the info to the cemetery and stone maker is a secondary source. A
newspaper can be more accurate as to the exact date of death when available.
Find A Grave may not be perfect but it can be a great genealogical resource. I have set up my family linking them to one another and creating virtual cemeteries for the different branches. I have provided links to these for other relatives of mine to help them with their ancestry research. The fact that the info is public with no registration or fees makes it easily available to all.
Many of the memorials for my ancestors were set up by complete strangers with no connection to my family. Given that some of these people are buried far from where I live coupled with the fact that many cemeteries do not not even list locations, this was particularly helpful. I have requested tens of photos for far away graves and am very grateful that people took the time to fulfill them. In return, I have fulfilled hundreds of grave marker photo requests near me for people that I do not know.
I worked on an email to Find A Grave to get clarification on what memorial would stay when there's a duplicate that gets merged. I sent you a DM to get your input on it before I send it because now I'm curious why your older memorial would get removed and not the duplicate.
I can pretty much tell you the rules. Oldest memorial wins.
HOWEVER.. they look at the history of the memorial. So, let's say that the memorial was created as a "Burial Unknown" and then later moved to the proper cemetery. In between that time, another memorial was made. They will generally keep the one that was properly created.
I've gotten a few emails that said the merge direction was reversed due to "Significant edit history".. Which would mean the name or location. And the name would have to be major. Not just adding a first name/middle name kinda situation. Meaning it was Bob Jones and changed to Alissa Smith or something like that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MichaelFass
Find A Grave isn't worth bothering with. It is made up by obsessed, territorial people on the lookout as to whom can chalk up the most graves. The best way of dealing with the immature behavior of Find A Grave is divorcing yourself from the site.
You aren't wrong. There are those people. They are all very ticked off now because findagrave has implemented a new rule that for three months, a close relative can claim a memorial you created and all credit goes away from you.
Doesn't bother me a bit, because I'm not adding from obituaries. I'm adding while I'm at the cemetery photographing. Plus, I understand how people feel when they go to findagrave to add a relative and they're already there. Someone added my grandmother like 3 hours after she died from the funeral home website.
Definitely some hoarders on there. Findagrave does have a contact page, click on the icons for instructions or a dialog box: https://www.findagrave.com/contact
You don't have to contribute to it, and therefore you don't have to deal with people like that. If you just take it for what it is: an online gravesite database, it can be very useful for genealogy research. There's other gravesite websites like BillionGraves, but I imagine they have the same issues. The only other alternative is to track down the gravesites yourself, which is a lot of work and unnecessary if it's documented online. Seems like refusing to use FG at all is just cutting off your nose to spite your face.
Every now and then I'll look on BillionGraves to see if someone is listed but they usually are not.
For anyone wanting burial information, find a grave is a great site done by volunteers who have spent many hours walking, photographing cemeteries, then going home to enter the info for everyone of their photos or info they found.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reed303
Sorry you feel that way about Find A Grave. Personally I find it useful , and don't care if others are acting like it's Facebook.
When I first started using it, I found both sets of my grandparents already posted by non-relatives, and they were accurate. Many other entries have helped to break down "brick walls".
That said, one not so great situation is when posts are made with no actual grave info or photo, and/or no spouse, parent or child info.
I agree, I find it useful too. I can't count how many family trees I've been able to make on family search to back up the find a grave memorial I found. I always check to see if I can duplicate it with attaching sources, then some days, I will sit there, search find a grave to connect more relatives to both the public, family search tree and the find a grave memorial.
The no grave or photo is probably due to a cremation. I have a few for cremated people. Find a grave does allow it and until they do not, I will continue to add them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vabeachgirlNYC
I didn't either. That's really weird to me. When I die I don't want some random thinking they have the right to memorialize me without even knowing me. That would be an insult to me and my family. I don't even want an obit. Just cremate me and be done.
I try to do it as soon as possible for people I know. It's gotten me spoken to by some family members, I told them that if I did not do it that someone not in the family or someone we don't know would have done it, they may not take as good of care of it as I would.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MMS02760
Find A Grave may not be perfect but it can be a great genealogical resource. I have set up my family linking them to one another and creating virtual cemeteries for the different branches. I have provided links to these for other relatives of mine to help them with their ancestry research. The fact that the info is public with no registration or fees makes it easily available to all.
Many of the memorials for my ancestors were set up by complete strangers with no connection to my family. Given that some of these people are buried far from where I live coupled with the fact that many cemeteries do not not even list locations, this was particularly helpful. I have requested tens of photos for far away graves and am very grateful that people took the time to fulfill them. In return, I have fulfilled hundreds of grave marker photo requests near me for people that I do not know.
The photo volunteers are the best. I've requested a few that are hours from my house, so far someone has always followed through to provide the headstones.
I can not walk cemeteries myself, so my contribution is making find a grave memorials for people in trees I run into on family search or for the people who's name is similar to one that I'm working on in our family. I will build out their tree using sources so that they stop suggesting the sources to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Labonte18
I can pretty much tell you the rules. Oldest memorial wins.
HOWEVER.. they look at the history of the memorial. So, let's say that the memorial was created as a "Burial Unknown" and then later moved to the proper cemetery. In between that time, another memorial was made. They will generally keep the one that was properly created.
I've gotten a few emails that said the merge direction was reversed due to "Significant edit history".. Which would mean the name or location. And the name would have to be major. Not just adding a first name/middle name kinda situation. Meaning it was Bob Jones and changed to Alissa Smith or something like that.
You aren't wrong. There are those people. They are all very ticked off now because findagrave has implemented a new rule that for three months, a close relative can claim a memorial you created and all credit goes away from you.
Doesn't bother me a bit, because I'm not adding from obituaries. I'm adding while I'm at the cemetery photographing. Plus, I understand how people feel when they go to findagrave to add a relative and they're already there. Someone added my grandmother like 3 hours after she died from the funeral home website.
If someone related to one of the memorials I've made or manage wanted to run the memorial I'd be happy to transfer it.
Have to say in recent years that some of the memorial collectors have been transferring memorials to me without my asking because they remembered that I submitted a request or they saw a request, transferred the whole batch of relatives that they had.
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