Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The cafeteria supervisor is well aware. I've told her that the new hire isn't going to learn the job if I'm always there to hold her hand. Still, she's a young single mom with four kids and a live in underachieving leech boyfriend, and I'd like to see her get a break. It's a great place to work and advance...if you work hard. I'm probably going to retire at 65 (less than two years). She deserves the chance to take my position if she buckles down. I've told her to concentrate on her own tasks at hand FIRST and not go around asking if others need help (we have some employees, unfortunately, who will be eager to pawn off unwanted tasks). I think she's trying too hard to make friends.
As far as wanting my phone number, I don't get the point. She gave me hers. I didn't want it, but I wasn't rude. Is she looking for another "mom" figure? I'm almost 40 years older than she is...my DD's are in their 30's and my grandkids are older than her kids.
That’s her deal to work out, though. Her personal situation doesn’t seem to be dictating her work ethic so there’s probably nothing you can do until she is ready and willing to step up and learn the work. She definitely could be looking for a caring older person to lean on and fill a void.
You're being a good co-worker OP. Sounds like she would benefit from some help and guidance in being an adult and developing responsibility.
I absolutely love when young people begin realizing implications. It makes me giddy.
Yeah, I would probably tell her what you said in your OP, that your witholding is not relevant to her because your life situation is very different, and that you aren't comfortable going over your taxes. And also, that you aren't even a good person to do that because you aren't an accountant or anything but that someone in admin may be able to help a bit more but whoever she uses for tax prep would be best. If she keeps asking, I'd keep repeating that same thing - that you aren't comfortable and that you can't answer her questions even if you were.
I had a little chat about newbie with my supervisor, who has also been my friend for many years before she was promoted to her position. She was the one who actually mentored and helped ME when I started. She's not happy about newbie's performance so far and agrees I'm not doing her any favors by staying late, because it's not helping her to work independently, think for herself, and remember what I've already shown her umpteen times. And to just have someone to chatter to. Paying me those extra hours isn't in budget. We'll continue to both work with her (and redirect her), but it's going to have to be a joint effort.
I do have to hand her one thing...even with four small kids (youngest are 2 and 1), she hasn't missed a day of work so far and she's always on time. She had to take her baby to the doctor (she wasn't ill, it was just a checkup), but she did that on Monday's Inservice Day when we were off. That shows good work ethic, IMO. We're encouraged to make our non-emergency appointments on the school off-days.
Our next payday is in about two weeks. If newbie brings up taxes and pay again, I am going to do/say nothing more than give her the name of the gal in Administration who handles payroll.
Glad your supervisor was receptive to your comments. Gotta say, most younger folks have a horrible work ethic and it’s not just the lack of doing the work while clocked in, it extends to being late and calling out or not showing up, so at least she has those things going for her. Maybe there’s hope for her yet.
It has a lot less with some pearl-clutching modesty and more to do with pay equity. There are absolutely situations where two people start the same job at the same level and make differing amounts of money. Why is salary such a guarded secret? If there are reasons that someone is paid more than a colleague in the same role, why not be transparent about it? Wouldn't you want to know if you were being exploited?
But the new hire in the OP's case isn't snooping around to find out her peers' pay. She's asking the OP, who has a career's-worth of seniority and time on the job over the new hire. Pay equality doesn't seem to be the motivation here. Unless somehow it never occurred to the new hire, that someone in their 60's would be making more than someone 1/3 that age who's new on the job. Could she be that dumb? It doesn't make sense. I think she's more concerned about the amount she's being taxed.
That’s her deal to work out, though. Her personal situation doesn’t seem to be dictating her work ethic so there’s probably nothing you can do until she is ready and willing to step up and learn the work. She definitely could be looking for a caring older person to lean on and fill a void.
Though I do feel sorry for newbie's personal situation, I do NOT want to be leaned on, fill a void, or risk being a new "surrogate" mother or grandmother. I already raised two DD's who are now in their 30's (one married). I have two grandsons (9 and 7) who fill my time right now. Their mother, my oldest DD, is a full time college student at 37. Her business was closed as a result of the Covid aftermath, and she's finally decided to finish her degree and hopefully go for her Master's. She spends long hours at school and studying, and depends heavily on me to help out right now. In addition to my cafeteria job, I help out with housework, cooking, laundry, etc. We juggle getting the kids to their extracurriculars like Cub Scouts, dance (7 year old does hip hop), and piano lessons. Son in law is very supportive, but works at a full time job and two private side businesses so they can afford her returning to school. DH (69) and I are married for 42 years, he is retired, and I'm ramping up for it in a couple of years.
And now I'm trying to train newbie. We want our lives to be less complicated, not take on more of it.
Last edited by Mrs. Skeffington; 09-28-2023 at 03:41 AM..
Though I do feel sorry for newbie's personal situation, I do NOT want to be leaned on, fill a void, or risk being a new "surrogate" mother or grandmother. I already raised two DD's who are now in their 30's (one married). I have two grandsons (9 and 7) who fill my time right now. Their mother, my oldest DD, is a full time college student at 37. Her business was closed as a result of the Covid aftermath, and she's finally decided to finish her degree and hopefully go for her Master's. She depends heavily on me to help out right now. In addition to my cafeteria job, I've taken on a lot of their housework, cooking, laundry, etc. The kids have extracurriculars like Cub Scouts, dance, and piano lessons. Son in law is very supportive, but works long hours so they can afford her returning to school. DH (69) and I are married for 42 years, he is retired, and I'm ramping up for it in a couple of years. We want our lives to be less complicated, not add to it.
Though I do feel sorry for newbie's personal situation, I do NOT want to be leaned on, fill a void, or risk being a new "surrogate" mother or grandmother. I already raised two DD's who are now in their 30's (one married). I have two grandsons (9 and 7) who fill my time right now. Their mother, my oldest DD, is a full time college student at 37. Her business was closed as a result of the Covid aftermath, and she's finally decided to finish her degree and hopefully go for her Master's. She spends long hours at school and studying, and depends heavily on me to help out right now. In addition to my cafeteria job, I help out with housework, cooking, laundry, etc. We juggle getting the kids to their extracurriculars like Cub Scouts, dance (7 year old does hip hop), and piano lessons. Son in law is very supportive, but works at a full time job and two private side businesses so they can afford her returning to school. DH (69) and I are married for 42 years, he is retired, and I'm ramping up for it in a couple of years.
And now I'm trying to train newbie. We want our lives to be less complicated, not take on more of it.
Newbie has a "high need for affliation."
"Under some circumstances, people with a high need for affiliation may also have trouble getting their work done. They may put such a high priority on socializing that they neglect some of their other goals.
Hill’s research also shows that people with a high need for affiliation can be discriminating when they choose a conversational partner: They prefer people who are warm and friendly to more than reserved people."
"I answer cafeteria questions, payroll/HR answer tax and payroll questions."
"We have a lot of work to do, let's concentrate on that, and not our personal lives."
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Like I said previously, I want to navigate this carefully without getting her in trouble. I don't think she has any malicious intent, it's just she just doesn't realize she's being too intrusive (as well as sharing a lot of personal life details with people you've only known a month).
A couple of weeks ago, she asked me if I was married. Innocent question. Yes, 42 years. Then she asked me if I or my DH ever "cheat". I'm gob smacked. I understand that her current deadbeat SO cheats on her and she complains about him. I don't know what relationship he is to her kids (other than he's not the father of her youngest). Other than helping her in her new job, I don't want to get involved with her personally. She's way too Jerry Springer.
I do want to get her trained. She's not stupid, just unfocused.
Regarding your last line, she's very stupid. Having 4 illegitimate kids with 4 different partners is something that an irresponsible moron does. On top of that, she complains about her crappy boyfriend who cheats on her, but yet she stays with him. She's as dumb as hell.
If she gets fired from this job, she can go live in a broken down trailer home with her gaggle of illegitimate children and collect welfare.
I'd just say "that's personal" when she asks you anything non-work related. I don't see how associating with someone like that would do you any good, so I'd just avoid her as much as possible.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
